This won't be another holiday list like below. I've passed that milestone. What this is, is more like, "hey, don't worry about Christmas or New Years Eve, just think about gaming's greatest feats and take a well-deserved break from all the hustle and bustle." Now, to start, how about we go back to when gaming was segregated from the world -- a time when people could only play games in a darkly lit building, throwing away money earned from mowing the lawn, a time when the arcade was the place to be a gamer. Besides, I think it's appropriate with the recent release of X-Men Arcade. If you haven't played that masterful multiplayer, then now is the time. The game, on your own, is nothing special. It can be completed in less than an hour and you can grow bored with the button mashing that is the side-scrolling fighter. If you've played the game on it's original cabinet, with six or four players, then do what you can to find that cabinet again because that's where it shines. The arcade was the era of Donkey Kong and Pac Man, but soon enough came the ability to get more and more people in on the action. I can't think of any other game that let more than one to three other people join in, but I can definitely tell you that everybody wants to be Wolverine and no one wants to be Dazzler.
Nothing says F**k You Christmas like a tornado.
For those of you a little younger -- or just not lucky enough to have a Penny or Nickel Arcade nearby -- we can skip ahead a few years to one of the monumental strides gaming has made. Ok, that may be pushing it. It's just Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic, Sonic, Sonic. We want so badly to like you now. Sonic Colors is admirable. It got good scores, seemed like a new and interesting take on a game built on running fast. But everything else, everything else that came out recently... why would you do that to people who love you? I don't understand? Turning into a werewolf? Getting a sword? Racing in cars? You don't need a car, Sonic, you need better games. We love you because we remember looking for the codes in gaming magazines to enter in the sound test to skip through levels or become Super Sonic -- even though we would always fall into that pit in "Mystic Cave Zone," that had no way of getting out, because we were going too fast. We love you because of Sonic 3 and Sonic 3 and Knuckles, which only when put together do they make a complete game. We love you because you had the evil Dr. Robotnik as a nemesis who tried to conquer the world and turn people into robot slaves rather than just steal a princess. I love you still, Sonic. I will never play any of your new games, but I'm glad you were released in the summer so I don't have to relate you to Christmas.
We're gonna jump ahead here and miss a generation of consoles, but I think that's for the best. I'm going to make the statement, and probably ruffle some feathers, when I say Ninja Gaiden (2004) was the best game to come out on the original Xbox. Sure, there wasn't any multiplayer and it can never reach the success of Halo. But the level of difficulty, variety of weapons, non-linear story telling, crazy/bloody action, amazing boss battles and several other aspects put that game at the forefront of what to own for the Xbox. Plus, it makes you feel like a badass every single time you get the "Master Ninja" rank. The game calls you a Master Ninja. That should be all the advertising it needs. Of course, if you don't do well enough, it also calls you a "Ninja Dog," but that just makes you want to do better. There's nothing holiday-related to remind you of Christmas in this game, other than the demons from Hell, which I guess can be seen as your extended family. You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones that bring fruit cakes and can't remember your name, but still refuse to leave you alone.
You are worth exactly this much to your relatives.
Now, even after mentioning these few games that game out in the summer or a couple months after the holiday season, you still may think that just because games come out for Christmas doesn't make them horrible. Well, let me tell you something. Every Mario Party game, except for the latest one (Mario Party 8), came out just in time to be picked up as a present. I mean, I like board games, I like Mario, but that doesn't mean the two should be brought together as an excuse to shove crap into stockings. Even the Winter Olympics are worse than the real Olympics. Does anyone watch the winter Olympics? Is it just snowboarding and skiing? Maybe curling? I have no idea, but Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games didn't win anyone over. That game, in case you wondering, also came out a couple months before Christmas.
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