Time to Start Over

Hello faithful readers.  I know the wait has been long, but worry not, Super Dope Gaming is back.  Holidays have a way to crush ambition and leave you feeling more alone than ever.  Video games on the other hand always give you something to strive for.  A goal.  So thank you, video games, for giving all of us gamers an alternative to the soul-devouring holidays.  On a brighter note, we now have a whole new year to look forward to, with many hopefully fantastic games on the horizon.  Nintendo may have another great year ahead it, what with the 3DS likely to come out sooner or later, and the next iteration of the Zelda series, Skyward Sword, set to hit shelves.  Of course, Sony has the next Uncharted, which looks fantastic, and Little Big Planet 2 which has a score of 93 on Metacritic.  That's already impressive.  Then, for Microsoft, Kinect should really be taken advantage of this year and we should see some really exciting ideas for how to implement the peripheral.  Outside of the hack videos, that is.

So you see, the new year comes with much promise for you gamers out there.  We should all be excited about the future.  I know I am, but I'm in love with video games.  What with all the new gadgets and games that make my heart race.  Oh, so dreamy.  If only I was a millionaire, I would pay off my school loans and then blow the rest on more games than I could ever hope to play.  Maybe something's wrong with me, but I like it.  The point being that if you were, for some reason, disappointed with 2010, then look forward to 2011.  It's a wondrous time for gaming, so ignore all those troubles out there in the real world.  No one wants to hear about such downers.  Forget about all your strife and grief over lost relationships, going broke, or losing your house, it's time to appreciate what you do have instead of everything you don't.  Did you lose some (most) of your money in Las Vegas last month?  Play some Resident Evil to make it seem like you're striking back at the soulless husks of casinos.  Girlfriend or boyfriend dump you? Play some Pokemon to have that special bond between you and something that can NEVER, EVER LEAVE YOU.

You'll never leave me, will you Bulbasaur?  Not like that b**ch Karen.

Gaming has a way to make your life better.  Just plug in the latest game you're obsessed with and go at it.  Soon enough you'll forget all about giant oil spills and not getting exactly what you wanted for Christmas.  Look forward to the new frontier and ignore the fact you're going to have to drop out of school and become a McDonald's drone.  Maybe you even have to move back in with your parents, in that small town you hated, get that job you swore you'd never do and reconnect with your old friends who piqued in high school.  That's alright; there are princesses to save.  Surely there's going to be something amazing in the following year that will make everything wrong seem all better.  If that something won't come out until the next holiday season, then you can throw yourself into all the previews and speculations.  What else is better than creating an idea of something in your head that cannot possibly happen?

People celebrate the new year in order to forget old acquaintance and never bring them to mind.  You must also forget the sins of gaming past and look towards the future of gaming.  Sure, there are still games made seemingly just to take your money, but you have to look at the brighter side of gaming.  Pay attention to games that are coming from some big franchise, like Mass Effect 3, to predict which games will be worth the time and money.  Also, don't forget to read all the reviews you can.  People like me, who happily spend time playing games so that people can learn from my mistakes, write for your needs.  Here at Super Dope Gaming, we rely on the people who rely on us.  We play through some shovelware, but mostly we like to tell you about the games that are Super Dope and can offer a great experience.  By the way, look forward to new things coming to this site in the new year.  There are always things turning in the minds behind Super Dope Gaming.

 Mostly kittens.

Just remember, Dope Gamers, there is a silver lining of Uncharted or Zelda for every dark cloud of Lost in Shadow (which had such potential).  Don't give up hope for the next big gaming development that's sure to wow you in ways you've never thought of.  Keep watch over Blizzard for Diablo 3 and Eidos for Arkham City.  Personally this is what works for me when I want to forget about things too horrible to think about.  So right now, I'm mostly excited for those upcoming games, even though I spent most of the break going through the "Humble Indie Bundles," which were good, but only about four out of ten were really great experiences.  In other words, don't worry about life, just play some video games.

Thoughts of Gaming in my Head

Christmas so soon?  That hardly seems fair.  Having just finished finals and now being forced to rush away from what I now consider home, I long for time to relax.  But then Christmas.  Family. Presents. Shopping.  Is there any other holiday that wears so many people down so quickly?  My friends, I am a simple man.  I don't need a lot to be happy and I never know what to ask for when others want to buy me gifts.  I have what I need.  If I found something I wanted, I'm sure there's some way I can get it.  I've never been a big fan of Christmas.  I do not look forward to watching Spike TV's 24 hour marathon of James Bond movies nor TBS' 24 hour marathon of A Christmas Story.  Even the games that come out at this time of year seem to lack luster.  Maybe that's just me.  Maybe one of the authors at Super Dope Gaming is a Grinch or Scrooge.  Well, Bah Humbug I say; let's talk about the great titles over the years that came out during the non-holiday season.

This won't be another holiday list like below.  I've passed that milestone.  What this is, is more like, "hey, don't worry about Christmas or New Years Eve, just think about gaming's greatest feats and take a well-deserved break from all the hustle and bustle."  Now, to start, how about we go back to when gaming was segregated from the world -- a time when people could only play games in a darkly lit building, throwing away money earned from mowing the lawn, a time when the arcade was the place to be a gamer.  Besides, I think it's appropriate with the recent release of X-Men Arcade.  If you haven't played that masterful multiplayer, then now is the time.  The game, on your own, is nothing special.  It can be completed in less than an hour and you can grow bored with the button mashing that is the side-scrolling fighter.  If you've played the game on it's original cabinet, with six or four players, then do what you can to find that cabinet again because that's where it shines.  The arcade was the era of Donkey Kong and Pac Man, but soon enough came the ability to get more and more people in on the action.  I can't think of any other game that let more than one to three other people join in, but I can definitely tell you that everybody wants to be Wolverine and no one wants to be Dazzler.

Nothing says F**k You Christmas like a tornado.

For those of you a little younger -- or just not lucky enough to have a Penny or Nickel Arcade nearby -- we can skip ahead a few years to one of the monumental strides gaming has made.  Ok, that may be pushing it.  It's just Sonic the Hedgehog.  Sonic, Sonic, Sonic.  We want so badly to like you now.  Sonic Colors is admirable.  It got good scores, seemed like a new and interesting take on a game built on running fast.  But everything else, everything else that came out recently... why would you do that to people who love you?  I don't understand?  Turning into a werewolf?  Getting a sword?  Racing in cars?  You don't need a car, Sonic, you need better games.  We love you because we remember looking for the codes in gaming magazines to enter in the sound test to skip through levels or become Super Sonic -- even though we would always fall into that pit in "Mystic Cave Zone," that had no way of getting out, because we were going too fast.  We love you because of Sonic 3 and Sonic 3 and Knuckles, which only when put together do they make a complete game.  We love you because you had the evil Dr. Robotnik as a nemesis who tried to conquer the world and turn people into robot slaves rather than just steal a princess.  I love you still, Sonic.  I will never play any of your new games, but I'm glad you were released in the summer so I don't have to relate you to Christmas.

We're gonna jump ahead here and miss a generation of consoles, but I think that's for the best.  I'm going to make the statement, and probably ruffle some feathers, when I say Ninja Gaiden (2004) was the best game to come out on the original Xbox.  Sure, there wasn't any multiplayer and it can never reach the success of Halo. But the level of difficulty, variety of weapons, non-linear story telling, crazy/bloody action, amazing boss battles and several other aspects put that game at the forefront of what to own for the Xbox.  Plus, it makes you feel like a badass every single time you get the "Master Ninja" rank.  The game calls you a Master Ninja.   That should be all the advertising it needs.  Of course, if you don't do well enough, it also calls you a "Ninja Dog," but that just makes you want to do better.  There's nothing holiday-related to remind you of Christmas in this game, other than the demons from Hell, which I guess can be seen as your extended family.  You know the ones I'm talking about.  The ones that bring fruit cakes and can't remember your name, but still refuse to leave you alone.

You are worth exactly this much to your relatives.

Now, even after mentioning these few games that game out in the summer or a couple months after the holiday season, you still may think that just because games come out for Christmas doesn't make them horrible.  Well, let me tell you something.  Every Mario Party game, except for the latest one (Mario Party 8), came out just in time to be picked up as a present.  I mean, I like board games, I like Mario, but that doesn't mean the two should be brought together as an excuse to shove crap into stockings.  Even the Winter Olympics are worse than the real Olympics.  Does anyone watch the winter Olympics?  Is it just snowboarding and skiing?  Maybe curling?  I have no idea, but Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games didn't win anyone over.  That game, in case you wondering, also came out a couple months before Christmas.

Time Passes But Love Never Dies

As I sit here, drinking my tall, cold, plastic cup of chocolate milk, looking through old photos of friends whom I never talk to anymore, I realize that many things have changed in my life over the years.  I've moved from the Central Valley, down to Santa Barbara and then way up to San Francisco.  I've gained and lost numerous friends, fallen in love (twice) and even got into a couple of car accidents.  All of these experiences have changed how I live my life or how I view others.  My tastes have changed as well.  I now have a much broader appreciation for films, books, music and, not surprisingly, my family.  I've heard that the only constant in life is change.  In my experience this seems about right.  Although, there is one thing that has never changed -- something I can't imagine ever changing:  my love for certain videogames.

My favorite game, which has been mentioned several times on this site, is over a decade old.  It came out on the Nintendo 64, a system with the most awkward controller and a catalog of games that comes up short when compared with its main competitor, the PlayStation 2.  Countless other games have come out on about a dozen home consoles and hand helds, but few have earned the right to be compared with that one N64 title.  At least, according to me.  The Halo series has now become a blockbuster franchise with near-perfect multi-player capabilities.  Super Mario Galaxy has redefined the platformer genre.  World of Warcraft has over 12 million people willing to pay a monthly fee in order to give up their own lives and play a game.  I wonder how many people who have played these games will name a classic throw-back title as their favorite, and possibly as the best, game of all time.  Do these titles always rest on pedestals while we maintain some kind of grand illusion about them?  Would our favorite games be worth going back to after so much time has passed?  Would they stand the test of time or fall by the wayside along with other, outdated games?

 At one time this was the pinnacle of technology in our civilization.

There are some who can call a game "great" simply because of the nostalgia it brings.  Memories of a time without paper work or dead lines.  This may be enough of a reason to play a game, but certainly not enough to judge whether or not a game is great.  I loved playing Pokemon Snap with a group of friends a couple years ago, but I know I would never play that game alone.  Not again.  We see this type of thing happen all the time.  We're probably all guilty of hearkening back to the good ol' days about something or other.  You can barely turn on the news without hearing how things have gotten so much worse over time.  Well, this is actually the best time to be alive since the beginning of time.  So grats on that.  Even with videogames, technology is racing forward.  Have you seen the Kinect hack videos?  They're amazing.  Think of the possibilities.  I get excited every time I think about the future of gaming.  I don't know what's next, but I know I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for it.

Now, with all these new fangled doohickeys coming out from the woodworks, I'd still be shocked if any of them replaced my favorite game.  Let me remind you at this point that it came out on the Nintendo 64.  Others my age, or older, have favorites from the original Nintendo Entertainment System.  What does it say about all the new hardware if they can't compete with games that came out before 3D was even an option?  I try to judge the game based on it's own merit.  When I look back, I don't focus on the good memories of my family watching me progress through each area; I look at the story, the difficulty and the gameplay.  I should try to be as objective as possible.  We all should when discussing the quality of any title.  But here's the real question, if we're so sure that nothing will compare with our old favorites, why play new games at all?  Why not just keep playing those top classics and be content appreciating the quality of an age long since passed?

And the crowd goes silent as I go for my 10,000th straight win...

I'm willing to bet that we always hope the next game will be our new favorite.  No one gets into a game with the thought of how terrible it'll turn out.  People want to be entertained.  Whether that's by some old favorite from childhood or the newest game to hit the shelves I don't think people care.  Every time I pick up a Zelda title, I want it to be better than Ocarina of Time.  I want that experience of playing a game I know is amazing from start to finish.  I want another game I would judge with a perfect score.  I hope that the games of tomorrow surpass those of yesteryear, but, knowing that the majority of games are average and good only for a week-long rental, I don't have any expectations, just memories.

Giving Thanks to Gaming

Soon, one of the most fattening days of the year will be upon us.  Thanksgiving is usually seen as a time to be grateful for what we have, who we have in our lives, and what we're lucky enough to do with our lives.  This is done by eating a giant meal with our families and loved ones and maybe saying a word of thanks before digging in.  Some families have traditions for this day: to go around the table and give thanks, the father cutting into the turkey, watching hours of football with an unbuckled belt.  Whatever your personal tradition, Super Dope Gaming hopes you each have a lovely Thanksgiving, full of joy and laughter.  For those gamers out there, more concerned with getting to the next level than with what part of the bird you get to eat, here is a selection of games that you should not only be thankful for, but also ones that you can share with others.

1. MarioKart Wii

The game that keeps on giving, even after all the courses have been memorized and you've become a pro at drifting.  No, not with DLC; MarioKart Wii allows for a rewarding experience through 32 tracks, half of which are taken from previous MarioKart games and updated; split screen multiplayer, competitive online matches, a leader board, fun and exciting items, and more characters to play as than ever.  This game, like it's predecessors, is most enjoyed when playing with friends -- just make sure they know what they're doing first, racing against beginners is never fun -- and having several hours devoted to finding out who's the better kart driver.  The courses aren't too challenging, which means more people can get in on the action, but some of the most difficult challenges come from catching up to your friend after a blue shell.  This game is always a fun time with a small group and works best when people just want to have fun and forget the serious nature of other games.

2. World of Warcraft

I know, I know, it's an MMO and a lot of people don't have it or don't want to pay the $15 a month subscription fee.  I don't blame you.  But what could be better than getting a group of your friends online and setting up a PvP raid against the Alliance?  It's been a long time since I played WoW (it was back before the first expansion) but the best memories I have of my 60+ days of play time are the ones where I took a trip to Ironforge and sneaked around, ganking low-level noobs.  I was cruel.  Of course, there have been battle grounds for a long time, places where there can be a point to the pointless slaughtering of others, but the best situation is going to the lowest leveled, contested area and griefing the rival faction with your friends, hopefully there with you at a LAN party.  Ah, memories.

3. Super Smash Brothers Brawl

Another Wii game, but deservedly on this list.  Not too many people can keep up with the fast pacing of Melee, and there are some who won't go near the clunky, unbalanced mess that is the original Smash Brothers, so that leaves the latest iteration of the series.  This game has pissed off "hardcore" fighter fans since it came out, but does much to improve on accepted greatness.  Brawl offers a roster of 35 characters and 41 stages, which is more than enough to add the required depth for more serious players and a great way to bring in people whose favorite characters may not have been in the games before.  The game offers a Co-op mode, the subspace emissary, which is a pretty big let-down, really, but the game shines when it's a group of four going at it on random stages.  You can make it more competitive by getting rid of items and, if you're playing against someone without much experience, you can add a handicap to make it easier.  If you want crazy fun, create your own stage with lots of traps and spikes, then turn on items to very high and watch as sh*t hits the fan.

4. Secret of Mana

An oldie but a goodie.  If you want retro fun with a great game, then look no further than this classic gem.  Secret of Mana allows for two or three (with a multitap) people to play in what is usually a single-player genre.  This SNES game does what most RPGs now don't even do: have each person control a member of your party.  It's perfect and I don't know why it doesn't happen in each party-gathering RPG.  Taking down run-of-the-mill baddies to a giant moth-thing and then a giant bat-thing with your friends instills a great feeling of accomplishment in each person.  Leveling-up is also a feel-good experience during which you can be cheered on by your friends for now being able to kill enemies in a single hit, or be berated for having chosen the cleric.  Clerics are lame.  The game loses a few points for having only three characters, but gains it all back and more in the stellar gameplay.

5. The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventures

This game is both the longest-titled on the list and my personal favorite.  It holds a special place in my heart because A Link to the Past is one of my favorite games (Ocarina of Time is still better) and I have great memories with my friends.  The story is different, but the visuals and the dungeons are taken frame-by-frame from the SNES version.  It's hands-down the most difficult to arrange with your friends since, in addition to the game, you need four Game Boy Advances or SPs, and also a connector cord for each to plug into the Gamecube.  These are not easy to come by, but once it happens, it's a thing of magic.  Top-down, multi-player Zelda action.  My friends and I have taken a weekend off just to take the time to get through the game.  There isn't a lot of difficulty for fans of the Zelda series, but there is a ton of carnage.  Each player can hold an item (some of which can be upgraded) and use that item to attack other players.  You got bombs? Blow up your friends.  A Roc's feather? Jump up and slam them.  A hammer?  You know what to do.  Then, at the end of each level, you can vote for the best and worst "hero" to further honor or denounce your friends.  I would still love to play this game, but my God, are those connector cables a b*tch to find... and three other gamer friends.

Time for Something Completely Different

I can't tell you why people play videogames, merely offer suggestions.  Maybe it has something to do with escapism, the need to have something out of the ordinary -- a distraction -- in our routine lives.  Maybe it's a way to find a few hours of entertainment not found in other forms such as reading a book, watching a movie or even playing a board game.  To some, perhaps they are nothing more than a way to kill time.  The reason I take the time out of most of my days to sit and play a game is that I want a unique experience.  I want something that makes me look back fondly on my time with that game.  There are not many games that achieve this.  I don't mean to say there are only a few good games in the world, but rather to offer the question: how many games have you played that made you feel good about yourself?  I imagine not too many.

I aim, more directly, to question the feelings inspired through videogames.  There are games that can shock and others that can impress, but what games are there that make you feel at peace?  Serenity is not a common goal of game developers.  People usually want action and excitement, coupled with blood and gore, to make them feel more than human.  Things presented in videogames are almost never things found in reality.  Is that true also for what the videogames inspire in us?  Surely you can be proud of your life's achievements just as easily as you can of your gaming achievements.  I also have no doubt that a game can create feelings of love within the player or feelings of hate.  Are these feelings different because they're triggered by a world of fantasy?  What is your own perception of life if not a fantasy?  Videogames can imbue us with feelings that are perhaps more real to some than their actual lives.  But back to the feeling in which I am most interested: peace.  I don't know of many games that can be considered peaceful or even calming.  Flower comes to mind, but only the first half, and also an old Flash game called Boomshine, which involves some strategy and possibly frustration.  I obviously don't know of every game, but I would indeed be shocked if there was such a game that could bring about acceptance and peacefulness.

Videogames are inherently active.  You can't have a game where the point is to be at peace.  There is no game that doesn't require some amount of action, even if that action is balancing on a small piece of plastic, as in the "meditation" minigame of Wii Fit Plus.  Even if such a game existed, I'm not sure if it would then fit the definition of a "videogame."  There are games that simulate life.  Games like Second Life, EVE Online (for a futuristic lifestyle), or even games like The Sims can open up worlds with no set objectives or stories that drive the player to some end-goal.  These games are marvelous steps for gaming in a direction not usually treaded by other developers.  Players seem to care about their characters or online jobs more than they care about other people in the real world.  But then again, who defines what's real?

The act, if one can call it such, of being at peace is not possible in videogames and, commonly, not an option for people in their lives.  Serenity is possibly not an option for people who do anything other than attempt to gain a grand sense of acceptance and tranquility.  It may be unfair for me to hope for that feeling to come from videogames.  I think I feel the most calm or peaceful when I'm sitting comfortably, reading for personal enjoyment and accompanied only by silence.  It's a wonderful feeling to have nothing to do other than taking the time to enjoy yourself.  I have heard happiness defined as "the state of wanting nothing," but I'm not sure whether I agree.  There are times when I want to do nothing, times when I want nothing. Those are not times when I feel happy, but lethargic and bored.  Videogames are able to influence a person's life; I would argue much in the same way a novel or film could also influence someone.  Can these mediums cause a person to be happy?  Is there a game that allows people to want nothing?  I'm not sure that can ever be the case.  One must find certain things in life and nowhere else.  I would suggest "peace" as one of those things.

Duty Calls

Apparently, the Call of Duty franchise has been around for quite a while.  This latest addition, Black Ops, is a grand testament to the series’ strength and the knowledge gained through years of experience developing First Person Shooters.  I’ve only played one other Call of Duty and that was years ago.  It’s not much to say that this game is a marked improvement over my previous experience.  Although, this is a beast of a game.  There were times when my laptop slowed because it couldn’t take all the action.  This is the only game for which that’s ever happened.  To be fair, I don’t exactly have the highest end, gaming laptop.  I own a Dell.

Anyway, Call of Duty: Black Ops tells the story of “Mason,” a CIA covert agent who gets assigned to kill people – in order to protect America, of course – throughout the world and its various wars.  As you probably have heard, there is a little hiccup over someone famous getting shot during the game.  I don’t care about it and, I think the level headed will agree with me when I say, people need to understand it’s just a game.  There are worse things, more gruesome kills at least, that happen to a number of other individuals.  The gameplay actually occurs when Mason is recalling his past actions to a group of silhouetted men who are torturing him to get answers.  You’ll have to play through the game to find out what exactly those answers are and how they lead Mason to his current situation.  I say the gameplay “occurs” because I couldn’t help but feel as if I was watching a movie during most of the game.  There are in game “cinematics” that involve you in some way, but never more than slowly approach this person and take him out from behind.  Most often, it’s a simple one button press and the game then takes over.  It’s less than a quick-time event, but the game is clearly not trying to make them challenging, rather, I’m sure the purpose is to make it all feel like one is in the middle of a Hollywood Blockbuster.  For my own part, I appreciated the effort to make the game more than a common FPS.  The cinematic feel of the game lasts through its entirety and it’s enough to separate the game from other, dime a dozen shooters.

This f**king guy...

As I implied earlier, the visuals are incredible.  I was impressed every time I looked at the sky, saw countless bullets flying by, or watched as I blew up what looked like an experimental rocket ship.  Any sound other than explosions or gunfire was a little hard to hear and, to be honest, I didn’t even pay attention to it sometimes because all I wanted to do was find cover and kill more Russians.  This game is intense.  I died so many times just while playing it on “regular” difficulty that the option to “lower difficulty” on the menu screen just seemed to taunt me.  I don’t know if that’s a theme with other Call of Duty games or if I just wasn’t used to the way the game plays out, but I was very happy with the game’s take on such arduous tasks.  Mason isn’t a super hero or some cybernetically enhanced marine and you can tell you’ll need to find cover every step of the way if you’re not a hardcore FPS fan.  It makes the game less appealing and harder to approach for the general population of the gamer community, but I’m sure most gamers know what to expect from a game like this long before they ever pick it up.

In the end, for the gamers who don’t feel the need to own a dozen different shooters, Black Ops isn’t too different from previous games of this type.  Mason’s story of a forgetful CIA killer is a nice touch and I’m happy to have this game as an addition to a genre which isn’t known for its cerebral qualities. Also, as expected, the game supports online multiplayer, which I don’t feel the need to discuss because Modern Warfare 2 set the bar pretty high and Black Ops does much in the same way.  There is also a mode simply dubbed, “Zombies,” which has you doing what you can to survive a wave of, you guessed it, Zombies.  This is not a mode that’s needed to make the game better, but it is a lot of fun and a welcome extra.  You won’t get anything too new with this game, but you will have a great time trying to figure out what’s exactly going on and trying to kill a seemingly endless hoard of enemies.

4.5/5 Near Perfect Score! Almost Super Dope!

Gameism: The Doctrine of Judging Others Based on Their Gaming Practices

How often have you basked in the all-encompassing, reflected light from a new gaming disc?  To whom do you listen during such great, historical events such as E3 or the GDC?  What are the games in which you are most interested?  Forget those questions for now; they don't matter.  What does matter is how what you do -- how you act -- reflects on you.  If I go around punching children and stealing from blind people, chances are I am not a good person.  If I have a gaming blog and look forward to reading other gaming blogs, I would say it's a safe bet I also play videogames.  Maybe something just as likely is that spend large amounts of time playing these games and forgo anything else.  This is all fine and good, but what about the types of games you buy?  Well, that probably says something about you too.  How about the consoles?  Do you think each console defines who that gamer is?  I hope not.  Don't be a Gameist.

One day, I will punch these children.

Let's begin with real life in a generic sense: type of console.  I have a Wii.  I do not have an Xbox 360 nor a PS3.  Since I have a Wii, maybe you can assume I'm a casual gamer and that I love playing games like Wii Sports or Farmville.  Or that I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to gaming since anyone who owns a Wii is either 73 or 7. If you think these things, you are one of the flawed Gameists.  Similar to Sexists and not as traditional as Racists, Gameists have their own preconceived stereotypes for different kinds of gamers.  For my own sake, I hate games like Farmville.  I could never stand to play any Facebook game and I only play Wii Sports after being dragged into it by the actual casual gamers.  I have Team Fortress 2 and Mass Effect 2 on my PC hard drive.  I love those games.  But there are some people out there who willingly accept Wii gamers as childish and it's almost to the point of defining them as not actually gamers.  Personally, I have not been a victim of this prejudice, but the victims are out there.  Do what you can to help the less fortunate.

When it comes to the PS3, you may guess these gamers are skinny Asians -- or people who wish they were skinny Asians -- who spend most of their time playing expansive and vastly time consuming JRPGs like the Final Fantasy series.  And, of course, these people always have some new JPOP going in the background, right?  Well Think Again!  I have friends who own a PS3; one is white, one is Jewish and another is Mexican.  None of them take more pleasure in Japan than is appropriate.  What is wrong in the minds of these Gameists that such prejudices exist?  Do they just listen to the representatives of the products they own and never hear anything from the other sides of the aisle?  Are these people set on categorizing everyone into these narrow stereotypes that limit other gamers?  It seems like it sometimes, it seems like it indeed.

 One of these people own a PS3, the other owns a Wii.  You Decide.

And what about the Xbox 360 owners?  Are they all shooter-obsessed bros, who buy cases of "amp" and insist every time they die is a lucky shot?  Does each Xbox 360 gamer yell into their headset, swearing and hypothesizing about another's sexual orientation?  Well...  Well, Okay, some are more true than others, but you get the idea.  What console one owns does not, for the most part, determine what kind of a person one is.  But those damn Gameists and their Gameism.  How do they think they can lump so many people together and make them faceless embodiments of a specific type of gamer?  Let the gamer community unite under one flag and realize that, even though we are all different on the outside, we are all the same on the inside.  Every gamer is a gamer because of their love for videogames.  Let us extend that love to one another and Stop this senseless Gameism.  Is this the dream of which Dr. King spoke?  Is this what the honored Veterans have fought and died for?  I can honestly tell you, without a doubt in my mind, that answer is no.  Thank you, everyone, and don't forget to do what's best for the gaming community.

Non-Violent Does Not Mean Non-Good

For those of you who don't know, which I'm sure is not many of you, the Supreme Court -- like really, the Supreme Court -- has been hearing arguments on violent video games.  Strangely, this case started in California, one of the most liberal, free-thinking states out there.  Think about it.  Where do you go if you want to escape being persecuted for your crazy-ass lifestyle?  California.  More specifically, maybe San Francisco.  That's the reputation we have at least.  Anyway, I am more than confident this case will come out with gaming on top.  The courts have always sided with free speech, so if they started censorship with videogames, it wouldn't make much (any) sense.  With that being said, I am not here to talk about violence in videogames.  That's been done.  I am here to talk about games that don't have violence at all.  Games that have a protagonist, in some form to be sure since someone must be controlling something, but do not seem to have any antagonist.

Now, truthfully, an argument can be made for a protagonist and antagonist in every game.  Tetris: the player vs. whoever sends you down blocks; Flower: nature vs. pollution/industrialization; Sim City: the city vs. the world.  There are games that are more directly concerned with the hero defeating the villain, but, as you can see, there are also games that feature conceptual enemies.  Games where you may even hesitate to call them enemies.  Would it be a bad idea to have more games like these?  These games are more than one person defeating several armies worth of minions; they force you to attempt to understand something more complex than "bullet goes into head, I win."  Ok, maybe not Tetris.  That one is in a whole other genre with games that are more puzzles than anything else, like Peggle or Monopoly.  I would venture to say that these are all great games.  You may balk at Monopoly, but how many times have you played it?  How many years has it been around?  The answer to both of those question is "a sh*tload."

This is so exciting! I LOVE games without any action!

I would like to see more of these games.  Games like World of Goo, Braid, or flOw should fill the stores, both real and online.  I've gotten tired of games where I can mindlessly defeat mindless hordes of poor-operating AI.  Sure they can still be fun, but less often intriguing and rarely original.  Maybe that's because I am not an FPS gamer.  I prefer games like Mario or Zelda to Halo or Call of Duty.  "Adventure" just has a much nicer ring to it than "First Person Shooter."  I own a Wii, but I do not own The Conduit and I will not own Conduit 2.  There is no appeal for me in these games.  Surely, those shooters are the only kinds of games that would be under scrutiny if videogames lose the aforementioned case.  I guess my gaming tastes would still be satisfied if this happens, despite my moral outrage.  Good-ish news for me then.

Everyone else who has different views than me, however, will still be at a loss, right?  Not necessarily.  Perhaps this would give them the perfect chance to broaden their gaming experiences.  I know two people who live together and both have Xbox360s; between them, there is not one non-FPS title.  This disgusts me.  I cannot go to their house and watch them play anything because it's all the same, whether they're shooting aliens or terrorists.  If you absolutely refuse to acknowledge that these games are too similar, think about the controller set-up.  Is the right trigger always shoot?  Is A always action and B always melee attack?  It's the standard control scheme now in place for most shooters.  One could seamlessly switch between several games and not lose a step.  But to go from Flower to Sim City or from Peggle to Minecraft?  Who will see any connection between those games?  As a side note, Minecraft can be switched to "peaceful" if you just want to build without any annoying enemies sneaking up on you in the dark.  Maybe it's not possible anymore to have such variation in FPS games.

Oh Man! This game is WAY better than that other, generic shooter we just beat!

The point here, if you haven't picked up on it already, is that you don't need violence to make a game good.  You don't even need to have a strong antagonist.  If the title has innovative gameplay, addicting mechanics, and/or a fascinating experience, that's more than enough to make an enjoyable game.  People who can't get enough of gunning down endless enemies should be aware that there are other games, most of which are rare gems in the gaming universe.  It's not often one will find something like Flower or Minecraft, but it seems games like Halo have become a dime a dozen.  Whether that's something that needs to change in game developers or something in the gaming community, I cannot say.

NEW WEEKLY FEATURE! Free Flash Friday Presents- Fantasy Online!

Yes that's right, Free Flash Friday Presents- ‘Fantasy Online!’ Or as I like to call it- Fantasy Boreline. Boretasy Online. Fanboresey Boneline. It’s boring.

Obscure Title Tuesday….is DEAD!

And replaced with this much more relevant, accessible, and user friendly weekly article which will review free flash games online that you can play RIGHT NOW!  

http://www.kongregate.com/games/PixelatedGames/fantasy-online 

As opposed to when you had to buy a Nintendo Entertainment System that works along with the corresponding obscure title which wouldn’t be worth it anyway just to play the games in the articles I was talking about. Or, alternatively just easily download an emulator to play the NES games for free.

Given the abundance of free time I have here at Law School, I though it would be a good idea to visit the hallowed internet tubes of places like kongregate.com, newgrounds.com, and armorgames.com, whose only purpose is to bring you sweet, sweet, productivity destroying time wasters, most of which suck. But it’s the thought that counts.

This week’s feature from Kongregate is Fantasy Online a ripoff of Diablo except that this game is a lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot crappier. And suckier!

Where to begin? It’s exactly like Diablo in that you have different classes to start with, you kill endless hoards of bad guys, get gold, use gold to buy better weapons or find unique items that your enemies drop after you kill them, there’s the magic type, the brute-force type, and the archer type, you gain levels by gaining experience through killing bad guys, you get attribute points…..it is literally EXACTLY like Diablo and games of that nature with the only technical difference being that in this game you have to use gold to buy different special abilities for your character to use, whereas in Diablo you got those skills automatically by leveling up.

It just looks so endlessly interesting! Boretasy boreline indeed.

So why does this game suckola? If I had to define the graphics of this game...I would characterize them as being worse than an 8-bit Nintendo Entertainment System game that sucks. It’s not charming. I think that’s what they might have been going for, but it didn’t work. You’re a poorly rendered sprite. The earliest version of these types of Diablo-esque games that I know of is Final Fantasy for the NES (The original! As in, the first one. Which I own. Jealous??) and when you’re an online game with 20 years worth of technological advances and a multiplayer mode is easily defeated by one of the FIRST of these types of games, you’ve failed.

There’s no story here. Where’s my story? Cause all I see is random quests to help out endless townspersons here and there; there’s no sweeping narrative where you have to save the world and/or princess and/or your father and/or the future. Sure, you can explore and fight with your friends or strangers, but the sucky aspects of this game far outweigh that. There’s no SOUND! Can I get a freaggin’ theme song in the background please? I would have made one for this game FOR FREE. I STILL WILL! If they ask me, I will make free music and sound for this sucky game. At least something for the damn loading screen... sheesh.

Fighting enemies is underwhelming…you click on them once and the game does the rest unless you use a spell or special ability, but... it just sucks. Sometimes your attacks don't hit or your healing spells don't work because the game is laggy. The leveling-up system is so slow; if more then one enemy attacks you at the same time, then you have to run away or spend quite a few hours leveling up in a lower level area.

There are some attempts at humor thrown in. You start off at ‘Noob Island.’ But for the number of characters and dialogue this game has and given how much the game sucks in general, you’d think they’d have made humor a priority. Most townspeople just explain the quest you have to do. Where’s my context? Where’s my motivation? I’ll be in my trailer. No Blue M&M’s.

Now at first I was going to state, given this game has just under 1.5 million plays, ‘I don’t understand why people play this game’ (because it sucks). But then I realized, I made it all the way to level 12 and that took more hours then I’d like to publicly admit. So I guess there’s just something about games involving leveling up to incrementally improve yourself as the bad guys incrementally improve along with you that just feeds some gamer need in a substantial number of us. Everybody probably already knew that though. Shout out to WoW! And allll my mages! Magi, rather.

See, the fatal flaw with this game is: it’s too in depth and lengthy to be an hour or two time-waster, but not good enough to be something you pour a substantial amount of time into. Not dope, you guys. Not dope.

1.5/5 Paaaaass. 

The Fun of Creation Block by Block

People sometimes ask me how I stay so relevant to the gaming industry and the community itself.  The simple answer is that I do not.  I, as well as all my writers, have so, so much to do.  Some of us have things we cannot avoid -- Julian Horan, for instance, lost his computer to a rampaging virus, most likely from, let's be honest, all the porn.  Others have time consuming activities to do during the day, which I believe are called "jobs."  And still there are some who attend school in hopes to, one day, find one of these unheard of jobs and life comfortably for the rest of the foreseeable future.  Now besides all of these incredibly reasonable excuses, there are also ones like having spent too much time in search of diamond to build a pickax, in order to mine obsidian, in order to build a blast wall that can withstand large explosions.  There is a chance I have used that last one.

For those of you who do not know by now, Minecraft is an amazing time waster that gets more addicting the more you play.  I personally held off on buying the game, despite all the acclaim and the low price of $15, because I am not a creative person.  Suuuure... I can write about videogames and other such things for which I have a wealth of knowledge, but if you put a pen and paper in my hands and tell me to draw someone, it will be a stick figure with not-quite-circular eyes.  If you want me to play you a piece by Mozart, expect to hear something along the lines of several car alarms going off at once.  So you can understand my resistance to play something which relies heavily on your ability to create.  But, from here on out, I will cease to describe Minecraft to you and simply relate my experience.  This is because merely explaining what the game is about does not do it justice: mine things, craft those things to mine new things, build.  There is no story, there is no point.  Just build.

And build, and build, and build.

Before I got into the game, I decided to check out some videos on YouTube, while my girlfriend was beside me falling asleep, of all the amazing things people have done that I could possibly, theoretically, steal.  After understanding my inadequacy better, I looked for what normal people would do.  I mean, really, you build a base to escape monsters during the night, build a better base, build a house, build a better house, then build whatever you want, one block at a time.  Sounds repetitive and complicated.  I don't know how to build a house.   Then something amazing happened:  my girlfriend and I both became enthralled.  We kept wanting to see what people would build, how they would get materials, where in this MASSIVE (trust me, it warrants all caps) world they would explore.  It actually ended up with her buying the game and us having a combined world, in which there is a glass house on the top, one block of a mountain, a black house with a "lava-fall" near the highest point of the sky, and seemingly endless caves which my girlfriend loves to explore.

Goddammit I refuse to lose my sh*t again!

For the first, oh, dozen hours or so, I was clearing away a giant area in order to make a farm.  Soon, I realized animals would actually disappear after a while, even if I ever managed to get them inside the fences.  So, back I went to the caves beneath my base.  I have four large chests, after owning the game for about a week, all filled with rock and dirt; another filled with sand and coal, and one more filled with random things like flint, glass, animal products, etc.  Only within the past day or two have I started to build.  It's disgusting how much time I've spent mining for minerals and smelting them.  Which, to be fair, is still far less than others who have apparently dedicated their lives to the game.  Often have I died and lost everything in my inventory (once, that included diamonds), but have always remade everything and returned to the lava pit or to where those damn skeletons and their arrows killed me.  This is all in single-player mode, mind you.  If you get the IP address of a server, you can go online and see what others have built and/or grief them.  I advise everyone to fork over the money (or get your girlfriend to) and experience this game for yourself.  It can still get boring and you may lose interest, but I'm sure you'll get your money's worth.

4/5 Near Perfect Score! Super Good!

Sensational Senselessness

It seems there's some kind of bug going around.  A couple writers for Super Dope Gaming (i.e. this site) haven't posted their weekly feature, and I can tell you that's a first for the both of them.  I can only guess they are both sick, dead, or playing more videogames to review/discuss for this wonderful site.  Because, really, who wouldn't want to spend the time every week to talk about videogames?  Crazy people.  That's who.  As a side note, old people also fall under the definition of crazy.  Anyway, let's get to it, shall we?  The topic for this post may hit a nerve on some gamers out there, and I think it will, but there is also a part of me that hopes it does not.

If you've played videogames ever in your life, you have most likely thought to yourself, "wouldn't it be awesome if I could do this in real life?"  In videogames, you've got everything you could ever want: near infinite money, some super-human power (anything from the ability to take assloads of damage to actual, magical power), people who love you and, probably most importantly, a purpose.  What do you get out of real life?  You get debt, the fantastic ability to die from almost anything, a slim chance to find happiness in romantic love and you get to spend your life wondering what to do with it.  This sounds incredibly depressing.  But, let's face it, videogames are better than real life.  People always talk about immersion and how important it is to feel like you're a part of that gaming world.  Do they not realize that the more you're connected with one world, the less you are connected with another?  I've been playing videogames for as long as I can remember, and I can't help but wonder, "does the fact that I want to do nothing with my life, other than play videogames and relax, come from my knowledge that life will never be as amazing as an heroic adventure?"

 These kids have now become gaming bloggers.

Now, to be perfectly clear, I am a happy person.  I love my girlfriend, I love what I'm learning about in grad school (mostly), I have a family that loves me, I don't do drugs and I rarely drink -- apparently, I am a giant loser.  Nor am I trying to assign blame for anything I don't like in my life.  But the situation remains that I would rather watch "let's play" videos of Minecraft than work on a paper that is almost a year late.  Is it that my love of all things gaming overpowers my other loves or is it that videogames have made me apathetic?  Besides, in all fairness, if I were to assign blame, I would probably look to the internet in general for supplying me with so many things which are detrimental to my senses.  Once you've seen a horse have anal sex with a man, you can never go back.  But, the fact remains that I don't scour the intertubes in order to find time killers.  I come here.  Failing any recent updates, I go to other gaming blogs, and then I go to watch gaming videos.

In discussions with other gamers, I have found that a common theme occurs: the lack of a purpose.  This is not universal, of course, but common enough to be brought up.  Those of us who've countlessly saved the world don't have time for such trivial matters like studying or getting a job.  We need something bigger than (real) life.  I'm not sure, but I think my love of videogames has influenced my chosen field of study.  I study ancient myths about heroes and war, sensational tales that would seem impossible today.  What more could a gamer hope for in life?  We know gaming contributes to other factors in life.  Obesity, for instance.  I'm five feet, five inches, weigh between 130 and 140 pounds (I'm skinny; you can almost see my ribs), and I just ate three servings of pudding (about 900 calories), just to snack on something while watching games.

 There is nothing better than this combination.

So, why can't gaming contribute to apathy?  Not apathy for other people, but apathy towards the world as a whole.  I think we all want to be special.  We all want our lives to matter.  We all want to have what we do be important.  When I think about saving the world, overthrowing governments, being the best there is, I offer the question, "Can anything we do in reality be as important as what we do in gaming?"  Unfortunately, I am not able to answer that question.  Not for myself and definitely not for anyone else.  I do hope every gamer finds something they can be passionate about and pursue with as much vigor as when they pursue the next trophy.

Dragon Age Origins

It’s been a while since a game has been reviewed that wasn’t obscure or… well really any game that Julian Horan didn’t review.  I come now to break that trend.  There are many people who have already spent well over a hundred hours playing this game, but that most likely includes all the Downloadable Content (DLC) and the expansion, Dragon Age Origins Awakening – which are four words that qualify for the most seemingly random title ever.   This game, without all the fancy bells and whistles that came after its initial release, is still a fantastic game to play and will take hours and hours of time from your other responsibilities.

Before the game even starts, you may spend an hour or two deciding what exactly you want yourself to look like.  Personally, I think this is overkill, but that’s a common theme to long RPGs nowadays.  There are several beginnings to this game’s story, depending on the race (human, elf, dwarf), class (mage, rogue, warrior), and area you choose to play.  For instance, if you choose a dwarf commoner, you have to escape from the dwarf king who has just killed his brother, but if you choose the human mage, you are resigned to starting in the mage’s tower, a place where you can be watched and kept under lock and key.  Each unique beginning quickly catches up with the main story: to become a Grey Warden and stop the evil “Darkspawn” from taking over the lands.  Things don’t go as easily as planned, however, and you’re left with forming a new army and recruiting party members along the way.  To create the army, you have to go to three different areas and complete a string of quests. Afterwards, you are promised an army when the time comes.  If you already think the story is obvious or find it lacking, don’t worry, the best part of the game is the combat, of which there is much.

Sugar, spice and everything nice.

If you’re used to Bioware’s games (Mass Effect 2, Knights of the Old Republic, even Jade Empire) then you’ll fit right in with this game.  You can have a party of up to four people, three of which you can change around while the main character is always present.  Each party member has their own special skills, spells, attributes, etc.  which you can tell them to use with the tactics option or take full advantage of by playing as that character yourself.  Don’t like that warrior you created after 20 hours of gameplay?  Would you prefer to play as a Morrigan, the saucy spell caster?  That’s ok.  Just always switch to the next member of your party.  To make the combat more thoughtful, you can pause the game every time combat begins, specify every action and directly manage the team.  It’s a great addition and incredibly useful, but can sometimes feel like it gets in the way of the flow.  In addition to the skills available to you through your class, which are many and various, there are also specializations that you can learn through books, party members or side quests.  They also allow for more skills to be learned, although I didn’t much care for any of them.

I'm pretty sure I killed this elf.

If fantasy isn’t your thing, then stay away from this game. There is a ton of stuff packed into this game: codices, letters, quests, side quests, histories, lore.  If you take the time to read everything and try to figure out the context of the world as a whole, you’re in for some long nights.  On the other hand if, like me, you just want to play the game, level as much as you can and then kill some dragons, you’ll still partake in a great gaming experience.  Everything fits well together, nothing seems like it was added without a point and you can do dozens of quests to keep you coming back for more.  The gameplay is a solid, hardcore experience that you’ll come to thoroughly enjoy the more you play.  Each of the abilities you learn are useful depending on the situation, and you can create your party to suit the kind of game you want to play.  The soundtrack also manages to have that medieval feel to it, present in most fantasy games.  There‘s always some lady, singing eerily.  I don’t know why that’s a staple for things like this, but there you go; I can’t fault a game for fitting into the genre, no matter how odd I think it is (chanting) or how much I hate it (elves).  The one thing I feel I should mention about the soundtrack as something just completely out of place doesn’t even happen during the game.  After about 4 minutes of credits rolling at the very end, all of a sudden, without any warning, a rock song comes on:  “This is War” by 30 Seconds to Mars.  My only thought at this time was, “what the hell?”  It doesn’t make the game worse, but it is funny.  Sorry for the spoiler.

4.5/5 Near Perfect Score! Super Good!

Video Game Voyeurism

Do you like to watch? I do.  I’m always happy to watch people going at it, trying to finish, get all those good feelings that come during and after.  Sometimes it’s even better than being personally involved.  And always much easier.  If you’re like me, then you know how good it feels to sit back, relax and enjoy watching other people play some videogames.  Maybe it’s just me, but there are some games that I like to watch more than I like to play.  Some games just aren’t my forte, but are definitely fun to passively experience (watch).  Does that make me less of a gamer or more of one?  I don’t know how many people out there have the same amount of love I have for video games or if anyone else enjoys them on as many levels as I do, but this is one of the ways I would like to share.

To start, let’s talk about “let’s play” videos on YouTube.  For those of you unaware of this phenomenon, it’s a small group of people who record themselves playing videogames and supply commentary.  Whether they play games already beaten or play a “blind” playthrough is up to them, but it’s almost always entertaining, save the user who is sometimes annoying.  That’s a win-lose situation, though, since the commentary is sometimes the best part about watching these videos.  Now I’ll be honest, I’ve watched several games from beginning to end in this way: Super Mario Sunshine, My Life as a Dark Lord, and *ahem* God of War 3.   Of course, it’s not the same experience as playing them yourself, but you get the story, see the gameplay and even feel confident enough to talk about the game as if you actually played it.

 Having never played this game, I remain confident about how I feel towards it.

What does it say about the people that take the time to watch these videos?  With YouTube video limits, one must watch these games in 10 minute segments, often with an introduction and conclusion to each one.  I cannot tell you how much I hate the phrase “welcome back folks” now that I’ve heard well over 100 times in a single day thanks to one user.  If you’re not into watching and would rather get the full experience of the game by playing it yourself, then that makes perfect sense to me and, for most games, I feel the same way.  But there are systems that a lot of people don’t have, with games on them some would love to play, and these videos allow a great luxury.  For a more functional use, they provide a way to see if you’d like to buy a game.  If reviews aren’t enough (you bastard) then you can always check out gameplay videos through the “let’s play” users.  This is probably the most depressing way to spend one’s time online, but it’s definitely a time killer and it definitely makes me want to keep watching.

As for the more personable, friendly way to watch games – someone playing next to you on the couch – it’s much more akin to playing the game yourself.  You can talk to your friend and help solve the game’s puzzles.  If you’ve already beaten the game, you can give your own commentary to the current player and help guide them through.  The downside to this, however, is that the person playing may be terrible.  With YouTube, you can always skip ahead and find a part you’d rather watch, but with people on your couch, you better be ready for some awful gaming skills.  I can tell you from experience that you should never allow your girlfriend to “try out” a game in order to have something in common with you.  That’s just a cute spin on hours of frustration.

"Honey all you have to do is c.mk cancel to hp hadouken supercancel into hp super.  I don't know why you can't get it"

Then there are those games that just aren’t worth the total time it takes to play them.  Games that can be watched out of the sheer entertainment, but should probably never be played.  Often, when games have bad gameplay, it comes off even in the videos through YouTube.  I have laughed hysterically for a number of videos on account of the poor game design and, on occasion, because of the commentators themselves.  Other games must be watched with someone playing it next to you if they are to be tolerated.  The Pokemon games come to mind.  Who would really want to watch a video of someone level-up from zero without anyone to talk to?  You may think that people who watch “let’s play” videos have so little to do that it makes them sad to think about.  Well don’t tell me that, I don’t want to think about it.  I enjoy watching games be played, especially games that I can’t play myself for some reason (e.g. cost, not having the right system, laziness, etc.), and I enjoy watching games and contributing to the player so, in a way, we’re playing together – and that’s when things really get hot.

Value: What the Hell is That?

What factors go into one’s purchase in a videogame? Perhaps more generally, this question can be applied to any type of entertainment product that one would purchase: dvd purchases, cds. If this holds true, then there is an innumerable amount of journal articles, and well-informed research amongst a plethora of other academic material that regards this subject. But I’m going to tackle this subject anyway.

What makes a game worth purchasing? What makes something a “rental” instead of a “must-buy”? Our dear reader, may already be aware of what makes a title worthy of a purchase to them… However, in talking to Mr. Gregory Allen today, I could not (nor could he) pinpoint what makes a title worth buying to people. Logically, I have decided to chalk up our inability to articulate our thoughts as assured variability in one‘s purchasing decisions. Thus, this article was born.

As a disclaimer, I’m sure that even any resident frat-tastic business major would be able to tell you all about purchasing factors in their Buying Stuff 101 class. However, because I’m ignorant, not willing to do research to back up the ensuing discourse, and overall prideful in my non-broity, I will instead put forth this article of jumbled opinions in what will hopefully and craftily disguise itself as well-thought purchasing theory. Let us go forth:

This guy knows what I'm talkin' about.

The title that directly inspired this discussion with Mr. Allen was the recent Wii release of NBA Jam. Upon discovering that this homage to the mid-1990s had been recently released, I inquired to the good deity, Mr. Allen, about how much he figured the title to be worth. Allen played coy, and said he was unsure of the retail price -- a modest and humble action such as to not make me self-conscious of my merely terrestrial intelligence.

With a quick click or two on sites more established and respected than this here blog, I found that this Wii title would be retailing at the standard new release price of $49.99. “Oh, that’s not worth it.” I remarked. Allen, once again ignoring his omniscient abilities, asked me why this was so. I quickly ruminated (read: immediately made stuff up) about how the game didn’t have enough modes, wasn’t as deep a game as a title I would be willing to pay $50 for, and that it was just ripping off a game from 15 years earlier.

Now whether this holds true for NBA Jam is immaterial as I have no vested interest or bias against that title and it merely served as a jumping off of sorts into the realm of purchasing factors to a consumer. Regardless, all of my baseless attacks on the well-received title [an 82 on metacritic] was hinting at the well-accepted adage that the title in question would not warrant a purchase because I would not play it enough. As I remarked to Sir Gregory Allen (knighted on September, 11th, 2001 -- confusingly lost in the headlines of that day), I had pondered about possibly buying this title as I could envision myself enjoying this game at a party while under the influence. Under the influence of the responsible narcotics such as methamphetamine, heroin, and unadulterated cocaine.

Smack, Crank, and Fun Videogaming: These three all go hand in hand.

So far, I have managed to successfully imply two ideas in this post of mock dissertation: a game’s value is a function of time played and that I merely use drugs on a recreational and social basis -- and nothing more. Surely, I would be inclined to agree with time played as one of the more important factors in determining a game’s worth. But like most well-written scholarly articles, I will now attempt to undermine that sentiment and everything else I had previous established in the remaining lesser half of this post.

People who trade games most usually have not played the title much, if at all or have already beaten or completed the game. Ignoring the well-intentioned and possible third alternative of one trading in their games in order to secure more cash in order to furnish their meth habit to enjoy the next round of NBA Jam at an upcoming party -- both of these cases exemplify the player having no further intention of playing their former titles. Thus, no further time played brings them no value. Yet, most gamers have a collection of games that they keep even after reaching their expectancy of no longer playing said game. One does not trade in all or even most of their games once they have been played to their fullest extent -- whatever that may be at the players’ discretion. What is it that compels a person to hoard a disc that would better serve the consumer by trading it in at its highest market value rather than allowing it to become a playground of dead human skin, plant pollen, and textile fibers? I would argue that the reason that games that make the leap from smack fund to attic afterthought is enjoyment.

Value of a game is a function of enjoyment derived by the consumer. Furthermore, one who enjoys their game is likely to spend a higher amount of time with said title. Thus, the enjoyment model accounts for the apparent truism of more time played equals more value to the consumer. Additionally, the enjoyment school of thought provides an explanation for the exceptions of titles that are rarely played but maximally enjoyed (determined to be worthy of purchase by ‘Joy Theory‘ yet not by “Time is Money Philosophy“). Here are two complementary examples provided by my Nintendo and sports game-laden gaming career:

On the day of Mario Kart’s release, people that use me due to my fervent interest in all things videogames and anti-diabetes [read: friends] visited my residence (which I honorably shared with the celestial Gregor(y) Allen Poe) and proceeded to game for the next 8 hours. Although known for my inability to be joyous and uncanny mastership to become irritable with all persons even remotely affiliated to me, I had fun. This day in itself made the purchase of Mario Kart Wii worthwhile to me even if I had not played the game as much afterwards (admittedly that was not the case).

On the other end of the spectrum, NCAA Football 2004 was probably the game I spent the 2nd or 3rd most playing time in my life -- logging in 180 hours worth of transforming UCLA, Ball State, and Army into inexorable juggernauts. These programs played with the same kind of force and fury that choo-choo trains do when they meet unsuspecting hobos sleeping on railroad tracks. I would argue that this game was beloved to me not because of the amount of time that I poured into the game, but because of the enjoyment it poured into my life. The countless championship seasons, the 4-star recruit of DaMarcus Washington who perplexingly joined my Ball State program coming off a winless season (it was my first off-season with them -- there‘s no way I‘d lead a team to that kind of futility), down to one of the more sincerely cherished moments of my life -- my late Uncle cheering on my 2-loss UCLA team to a near-senseless comeback against the Miami Hurricanes for the National Championship in the Rose Bowl, exacting virtual revenge for us Bruin fans to the real life nightmare of December 5th, 1998.

How many hobos do you think Thomas the Train has viciously steamrolled throughout his choo-choo train career?

If you, dear reader, reject these two counterexamples then perhaps the two dimensions of time-value and enjoyment-value may prove to be inextricable. Maybe one can vouch for other factors. Brand Loyalty is the basis for my Metroid: Other M purchase and I derive value from it although I did not play it as much (and arguably not enjoy it as much) as most of my other $50 titles. Still, I value the title because it a part of my Metroid collection. Others may buy games out of social pressure because they are hollow, insecure people. These adolescents/failures of adults need to buy Medal of Honor or they risk ostracizing their self from their fellow poser compatriots. Value can perhaps also appreciate over time by means of discovering common games that one’s friends have played. This phenomenon of value is usually at its peak when the group blissfully basks in a gluttony of nostalgia and groupthink, adamantly agreeing that the game is tragically underappreciated.

Alas, I have run out of time and will leave that last concluding paragraph woefully underdeveloped. My dues have been paid and I’m off to go have hot wings with a friend. Maybe you’ll hear from me again -- maybe not. But I do leave you with this:

Don’t buy NBA Jam. Drugs are expensive enough.