Time to Start Over

Hello faithful readers.  I know the wait has been long, but worry not, Super Dope Gaming is back.  Holidays have a way to crush ambition and leave you feeling more alone than ever.  Video games on the other hand always give you something to strive for.  A goal.  So thank you, video games, for giving all of us gamers an alternative to the soul-devouring holidays.  On a brighter note, we now have a whole new year to look forward to, with many hopefully fantastic games on the horizon.  Nintendo may have another great year ahead it, what with the 3DS likely to come out sooner or later, and the next iteration of the Zelda series, Skyward Sword, set to hit shelves.  Of course, Sony has the next Uncharted, which looks fantastic, and Little Big Planet 2 which has a score of 93 on Metacritic.  That's already impressive.  Then, for Microsoft, Kinect should really be taken advantage of this year and we should see some really exciting ideas for how to implement the peripheral.  Outside of the hack videos, that is.

So you see, the new year comes with much promise for you gamers out there.  We should all be excited about the future.  I know I am, but I'm in love with video games.  What with all the new gadgets and games that make my heart race.  Oh, so dreamy.  If only I was a millionaire, I would pay off my school loans and then blow the rest on more games than I could ever hope to play.  Maybe something's wrong with me, but I like it.  The point being that if you were, for some reason, disappointed with 2010, then look forward to 2011.  It's a wondrous time for gaming, so ignore all those troubles out there in the real world.  No one wants to hear about such downers.  Forget about all your strife and grief over lost relationships, going broke, or losing your house, it's time to appreciate what you do have instead of everything you don't.  Did you lose some (most) of your money in Las Vegas last month?  Play some Resident Evil to make it seem like you're striking back at the soulless husks of casinos.  Girlfriend or boyfriend dump you? Play some Pokemon to have that special bond between you and something that can NEVER, EVER LEAVE YOU.

You'll never leave me, will you Bulbasaur?  Not like that b**ch Karen.

Gaming has a way to make your life better.  Just plug in the latest game you're obsessed with and go at it.  Soon enough you'll forget all about giant oil spills and not getting exactly what you wanted for Christmas.  Look forward to the new frontier and ignore the fact you're going to have to drop out of school and become a McDonald's drone.  Maybe you even have to move back in with your parents, in that small town you hated, get that job you swore you'd never do and reconnect with your old friends who piqued in high school.  That's alright; there are princesses to save.  Surely there's going to be something amazing in the following year that will make everything wrong seem all better.  If that something won't come out until the next holiday season, then you can throw yourself into all the previews and speculations.  What else is better than creating an idea of something in your head that cannot possibly happen?

People celebrate the new year in order to forget old acquaintance and never bring them to mind.  You must also forget the sins of gaming past and look towards the future of gaming.  Sure, there are still games made seemingly just to take your money, but you have to look at the brighter side of gaming.  Pay attention to games that are coming from some big franchise, like Mass Effect 3, to predict which games will be worth the time and money.  Also, don't forget to read all the reviews you can.  People like me, who happily spend time playing games so that people can learn from my mistakes, write for your needs.  Here at Super Dope Gaming, we rely on the people who rely on us.  We play through some shovelware, but mostly we like to tell you about the games that are Super Dope and can offer a great experience.  By the way, look forward to new things coming to this site in the new year.  There are always things turning in the minds behind Super Dope Gaming.

 Mostly kittens.

Just remember, Dope Gamers, there is a silver lining of Uncharted or Zelda for every dark cloud of Lost in Shadow (which had such potential).  Don't give up hope for the next big gaming development that's sure to wow you in ways you've never thought of.  Keep watch over Blizzard for Diablo 3 and Eidos for Arkham City.  Personally this is what works for me when I want to forget about things too horrible to think about.  So right now, I'm mostly excited for those upcoming games, even though I spent most of the break going through the "Humble Indie Bundles," which were good, but only about four out of ten were really great experiences.  In other words, don't worry about life, just play some video games.

Value: What the Hell is That?

What factors go into one’s purchase in a videogame? Perhaps more generally, this question can be applied to any type of entertainment product that one would purchase: dvd purchases, cds. If this holds true, then there is an innumerable amount of journal articles, and well-informed research amongst a plethora of other academic material that regards this subject. But I’m going to tackle this subject anyway.

What makes a game worth purchasing? What makes something a “rental” instead of a “must-buy”? Our dear reader, may already be aware of what makes a title worthy of a purchase to them… However, in talking to Mr. Gregory Allen today, I could not (nor could he) pinpoint what makes a title worth buying to people. Logically, I have decided to chalk up our inability to articulate our thoughts as assured variability in one‘s purchasing decisions. Thus, this article was born.

As a disclaimer, I’m sure that even any resident frat-tastic business major would be able to tell you all about purchasing factors in their Buying Stuff 101 class. However, because I’m ignorant, not willing to do research to back up the ensuing discourse, and overall prideful in my non-broity, I will instead put forth this article of jumbled opinions in what will hopefully and craftily disguise itself as well-thought purchasing theory. Let us go forth:

This guy knows what I'm talkin' about.

The title that directly inspired this discussion with Mr. Allen was the recent Wii release of NBA Jam. Upon discovering that this homage to the mid-1990s had been recently released, I inquired to the good deity, Mr. Allen, about how much he figured the title to be worth. Allen played coy, and said he was unsure of the retail price -- a modest and humble action such as to not make me self-conscious of my merely terrestrial intelligence.

With a quick click or two on sites more established and respected than this here blog, I found that this Wii title would be retailing at the standard new release price of $49.99. “Oh, that’s not worth it.” I remarked. Allen, once again ignoring his omniscient abilities, asked me why this was so. I quickly ruminated (read: immediately made stuff up) about how the game didn’t have enough modes, wasn’t as deep a game as a title I would be willing to pay $50 for, and that it was just ripping off a game from 15 years earlier.

Now whether this holds true for NBA Jam is immaterial as I have no vested interest or bias against that title and it merely served as a jumping off of sorts into the realm of purchasing factors to a consumer. Regardless, all of my baseless attacks on the well-received title [an 82 on metacritic] was hinting at the well-accepted adage that the title in question would not warrant a purchase because I would not play it enough. As I remarked to Sir Gregory Allen (knighted on September, 11th, 2001 -- confusingly lost in the headlines of that day), I had pondered about possibly buying this title as I could envision myself enjoying this game at a party while under the influence. Under the influence of the responsible narcotics such as methamphetamine, heroin, and unadulterated cocaine.

Smack, Crank, and Fun Videogaming: These three all go hand in hand.

So far, I have managed to successfully imply two ideas in this post of mock dissertation: a game’s value is a function of time played and that I merely use drugs on a recreational and social basis -- and nothing more. Surely, I would be inclined to agree with time played as one of the more important factors in determining a game’s worth. But like most well-written scholarly articles, I will now attempt to undermine that sentiment and everything else I had previous established in the remaining lesser half of this post.

People who trade games most usually have not played the title much, if at all or have already beaten or completed the game. Ignoring the well-intentioned and possible third alternative of one trading in their games in order to secure more cash in order to furnish their meth habit to enjoy the next round of NBA Jam at an upcoming party -- both of these cases exemplify the player having no further intention of playing their former titles. Thus, no further time played brings them no value. Yet, most gamers have a collection of games that they keep even after reaching their expectancy of no longer playing said game. One does not trade in all or even most of their games once they have been played to their fullest extent -- whatever that may be at the players’ discretion. What is it that compels a person to hoard a disc that would better serve the consumer by trading it in at its highest market value rather than allowing it to become a playground of dead human skin, plant pollen, and textile fibers? I would argue that the reason that games that make the leap from smack fund to attic afterthought is enjoyment.

Value of a game is a function of enjoyment derived by the consumer. Furthermore, one who enjoys their game is likely to spend a higher amount of time with said title. Thus, the enjoyment model accounts for the apparent truism of more time played equals more value to the consumer. Additionally, the enjoyment school of thought provides an explanation for the exceptions of titles that are rarely played but maximally enjoyed (determined to be worthy of purchase by ‘Joy Theory‘ yet not by “Time is Money Philosophy“). Here are two complementary examples provided by my Nintendo and sports game-laden gaming career:

On the day of Mario Kart’s release, people that use me due to my fervent interest in all things videogames and anti-diabetes [read: friends] visited my residence (which I honorably shared with the celestial Gregor(y) Allen Poe) and proceeded to game for the next 8 hours. Although known for my inability to be joyous and uncanny mastership to become irritable with all persons even remotely affiliated to me, I had fun. This day in itself made the purchase of Mario Kart Wii worthwhile to me even if I had not played the game as much afterwards (admittedly that was not the case).

On the other end of the spectrum, NCAA Football 2004 was probably the game I spent the 2nd or 3rd most playing time in my life -- logging in 180 hours worth of transforming UCLA, Ball State, and Army into inexorable juggernauts. These programs played with the same kind of force and fury that choo-choo trains do when they meet unsuspecting hobos sleeping on railroad tracks. I would argue that this game was beloved to me not because of the amount of time that I poured into the game, but because of the enjoyment it poured into my life. The countless championship seasons, the 4-star recruit of DaMarcus Washington who perplexingly joined my Ball State program coming off a winless season (it was my first off-season with them -- there‘s no way I‘d lead a team to that kind of futility), down to one of the more sincerely cherished moments of my life -- my late Uncle cheering on my 2-loss UCLA team to a near-senseless comeback against the Miami Hurricanes for the National Championship in the Rose Bowl, exacting virtual revenge for us Bruin fans to the real life nightmare of December 5th, 1998.

How many hobos do you think Thomas the Train has viciously steamrolled throughout his choo-choo train career?

If you, dear reader, reject these two counterexamples then perhaps the two dimensions of time-value and enjoyment-value may prove to be inextricable. Maybe one can vouch for other factors. Brand Loyalty is the basis for my Metroid: Other M purchase and I derive value from it although I did not play it as much (and arguably not enjoy it as much) as most of my other $50 titles. Still, I value the title because it a part of my Metroid collection. Others may buy games out of social pressure because they are hollow, insecure people. These adolescents/failures of adults need to buy Medal of Honor or they risk ostracizing their self from their fellow poser compatriots. Value can perhaps also appreciate over time by means of discovering common games that one’s friends have played. This phenomenon of value is usually at its peak when the group blissfully basks in a gluttony of nostalgia and groupthink, adamantly agreeing that the game is tragically underappreciated.

Alas, I have run out of time and will leave that last concluding paragraph woefully underdeveloped. My dues have been paid and I’m off to go have hot wings with a friend. Maybe you’ll hear from me again -- maybe not. But I do leave you with this:

Don’t buy NBA Jam. Drugs are expensive enough.

Obscure Title Tuesday: The Legend of Kage!

The Legend of Kage for the NES! Or, as I like to call it: Ignore what time this Obscure Title Tuesday was posted!

Actually, I also like to call it Ninjas on Skates! Because you control a shuriken throwing Ninja with a sword on roller skates! It’s awesome. I’m guessing he’s on skates based on how he runs. It’s 8-bit, so it’s unclear.

The Tegena of Kage. The something of Kage. I'm guessing 'Legend'

This is a simple side-scroller that’s still fun today. The game play has you running and jumping (and this ninja can JUMP…think Golgo 13 except even higher) You can also climb trees and then jump out of the aforementioned trees. Some might find this frustrating but I thought it just added to the difficulty- when you jump, either straight up or diagonally, you can’t control yourself while in the air, and if you hit the ceiling (even if outside) you will fall straight down. Since you have a good 10-15 seconds of hangtime, if another ninja comes and throws a shuriken at you, you can’t get out of the way. Although, a well timed sword wipe with the A button will yield a satisfying shing and a block of said shuriken.

Gotta save the princess by humping this tree

The first 8 seconds of the game shows a woman in red, walking gingerly and innocently near a tree until a ninja swoops down and kidnaps her! You arrive seconds later, and the game play begins. It’s actually the simplest and most clear-cut rescue the princess story ever. It doesn’t even matter whether you know this chick; she’s your sister, your mother, whatever; she got kidnapped, you got shurikens, you got ROLLER SKATES… Go for it. Be a hero. Suit up.

There are power ups, of course: throwing bigger shurikens, the ability to get hit more then once without dying, and my personal favorite- the stop everything you are doing and pray (Literally, you pray) and everyone on the screen dies and if more people come to attack you, they die, and this lasts for 30 seconds while ominous music and lightening strikes can be heard in the background. G-d kills those bad ninjas for you. So I’m presuming this is the same G-d that made the flood from the bible, but even if it’s not, G-d himself kills your enemies for you in ‘The Legend of Kage’ for the Nintendo Entertainment System. This power is my favorite not for the difficult religious implications, but because bad guys materialize just off screen and attack you continuously no matter what during normal game play and there are an unlimited number of them. So the power up where G-d kills everyone that comes for 20 seconds, while bad-ass, is useless. It doesn’t decrease the number of bad guys that come at you after that. I think they just put it in to take a shot at Atheists.

DIE PAGANS!

All the levels are different…….kind of. The first is an open forest, second a narrow, low-ceilinged room with water underneath you can swim in, third is a jumping-to-the-top-of-the-level level, and finally, a dojo. If you are a pro, you can get through those levels in about 5 minutes.

After only 4 short levels, at the end of the Dojo level you find your, I’m guessing beloved, shackled to a pillar. Use your sword near her and BAM! You are reunited as she holds your hand and looks deeply into your 8 bit eyes as you both jump to the top of the dojo, make a massive jump off of said dojo, and --in a cruel cruel CRUEL act of IN YOUR FACE bad-guyism -- while you are running from all the other ninjas to safety, and you and your damsel in distress get back to the first forest level, the main bad guy ninja swoops down out of the air and steals the princess back RIGHT OUT OF YOUR NINJA ARMS!! (and flies away.)(I’m guessing she’s a princess) DAMNIT!!!!! Now you go and rescue her again, defeating the same 4 levels, except now they are a different color scheme and the bad guys are more difficult to kill.

D'oh!

Thankfully, this time if you save the now horrified, surely traumatized princess, you run off with her in your arms again, promising her a life of safety and ninjaless uneventful housework if that’s what she so chooses (or a job in any field of her choice, because girlpower and you support her) and you ask her to marry THE NINJA SWOOPS DOWN AND TAKES HER AGAIN!!!!! G-D WHYYYYY????

You should have tried praying that your damsel doesn’t get kidnapped successfully right in front of you instead.

The aforementioned housework, safety for a lifetime, and marriage dialogue does not actually happen in the game, but, I’d like to think that’s what they're discussing while they are running to nearly almost safety.

You know what’s even worse about all this? It took some great attention to detail for me to figure this out, but, the ninja that swoops down and steals your damsel after you rescue her 2 times is NOT the main bad guy. It’s literally one of the grunts that you’ve been killing non stop with only 1 hit the entire game. If you had thrown ONE shuriken at that guy he’d be dead and you’d be home making Love to your woman, but nooooo you get bested by, literally, a guy whom, of his similarly skilled compatriots you have killed thousands!

After you beat the same, yet changed color and harder difficulty 4 levels, you save the princess and…Third times the charm, because you run off and live happily ever NINJA STEAL!!!! PRINCESS GONE AGAAAAIN!!!! Only this time, you’re in a badass snow level, and you fight the ultimate bad guy ninja. This one is cool because you can’t kill the bad guy ninja until you find a butterfly flying around in the sky, and shoot it like, 5 times with a shuriken, and when the butterfly dies THEN you can kill the ninja bad guy. Maaan. Were we even the good guy? It’s so metaphorical. And….allegorical. That is so Japan.

See, because, you wouldn't think to kill a butterfly...

After you kill the bad guy, shockingly, you are reunited with the princess without her getting snatched out of your arms by a grunt! You have now beaten the game. The ending screen says that you are reunited with the princess now that you have saved her and “all the evils disappeared and the peace pervaded everywhere” G-d I want ‘the peace’ for America right now so badly. The final line of the ending title screen says: ‘This was a story of a ninja in Japan.” Whaaaaat???!!?!? Really?

Obviously! First of all, I know they were ninjas because even the 8-bit technology rendered them recognizable as ninjas, and I KNOW what a ninja looks like. Second, you had swords and shurikens that you threw. Ninjas. Third, after telling me this was a story about ninjas, they say that this was a story about ninjas FROM JAPAN. I KNOW Ninjas are from Japan! I don’t know where else ninjas come from other then FROM Japan!! After defeating the game, the game tells you: You saved the princess, are happily reunited, evil is gone, ‘the peace’ returns, and Ninjas are from Japan. Wow. Thank you, Nintendo. Thank you.

A fun, Ninja game that makes me angry at the bad guys for swooping happiness right out of my arms AND a happy ending? Forget the needless educational lesson on Ninja origins -- this game is awesome!

3.75/5 Roller Skating Ninjas! Bad Guys You Love To Hate! Save That Princess And Man Up!!

So Far the Only Reason to Buy Motion Plus

Like the typical, hardcore, Wii gamer, I bought the Motion Plus add-on as soon as it came out. It was only $20, and I was sure there would be many more games coming out that will need the 1:1 apparatus of motion control. Or, at the very least I thought, the next Zelda will have Motion Plus. Well, turns out that the very least is exactly what I got. That's not a remark on Red Steel 2, but on the countless companies that failed to utilize the accessory. Ok, countless may be stretching it. It has, after all, only been on the market since June 2009 and any game that was in the works before that couldn't possibly add such a unique feature as an afterthought. Red Steel 2, however, implemented it beforehand with ample time, despite the game's lack of commercial success. In regards to the poor sales figures, the Creative Director, Jason Vandenbergite, of the game told IGN that Red Steel 2 had a very small audience window and explained how gamers didn't want to "exert themselves." Neither of those arguments is unfair, but the latter makes me wonder about the future of the Playstation Move and Microsoft's Kinect.

To begin with Red Steel 2, I must admit I was excited to play this game long before I ever got the chance. Sword fighting, westerns and 1:1 movement will do that to me. But my first copy of the game had to be sent back because it was faulty and it was over a month before I found it again for the same price. So one can understand that the buildup of desire was much like that of a virgin high schooler at his prom. I was also just as hopeful of experiencing something that I thought would change everything. I would never -- could never -- go back to what it was like before direct 1:1 motion. For those of you not familiar with the Motion Plus accessory, it doesn't live up to this hype, which is seen clearly now with the noticeably few games that even offer the option of using it. Only one game, to date, takes advantage of the accessory and offers a complete gaming experience. The review of Red Steel 2, then, must include a review of Motion Plus gaming.

The opening cinematic of Red Steel 2 was very impressive. You begin by being tied by the wrists to the back of a motorcycle going through the desert and nearby city. I instantly thought, "wow, this looks fantastic. Cel-shading and the Wii are a perfect match." Even better was the idea that whoever gets dragged behind a bike like that would surely be dead by the end of the ride. I even winced a couple times when hitting glass bottles. Eventually the sequence ends and I was happily surprised when the in-game graphics stayed in step with the cinematic. We find out our hero is a member of the Kusagari clan, and so we start wandering the city in search of other Kusagari clansmen. At first the only weapon available is a gun, but that changes after a few minutes. The moment of truth for the Motion Plus add on. Can 1:1 movement improve the overall quality of a game? It took some getting used to, that's for sure. At first I was not able to swing the sword without turning the point of view in tandem with my swing. But, yes, there was 1:1 movement and it definitely made a difference in the game. For instance, the game immediately tells you to swing "with your elbow" because frilly wrist waggles won't be enough. The strength of the sword swipe depends on how fast and long your movement is. I can honestly say that my arm felt a little sore after a while, though, and I used to play tennis.

The entire set up works very well together. Motion Plus completely changes the action of the game. Since no one without wrists the size of dictionaries will be able to make little movements effective against the enemies, the gameplay is much more difficult. No sitting and leaning back. You gotta be front and center, ready to have broad slashes against armored foes. It doesn't feel like you're actually swinging a sword, even if the Wii remote is now longer, but it does get your head more into the game. As for the gun, there's nothing special there. It would work exactly the same without Motion Plus. Think Resident Evil 4 but without the stationary shooting. And the zombies.

As I mentioned earlier, the game's story is reminiscent of a spaghetti western. You get to play the wanderer who comes in to clean up the town, which is under siege by a group of bandits. In addition, there is also some classic Japanese story-telling here. The lone samurai, having been disgraced and banished by his clan, returns to help in a clan war and has to deal with other, sword-wielding assassins. The look and sound also blend the East and West. Not only are there paper lanterns, but telephones and vending machines. Not only is there a drunken-ish sheriff, but also a samurai master who reluctantly agrees to train you. If you're a fan of films like "Unforgiven" or "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly" you will recognize the classic western sound, but with a Japanese tinge to it.

The combat gameplay largely relies on the sword, but that's the point. There is the option of buying additional guns and upgrades for them, but you can play the whole game without using your gun, while you need the sword for several things from taking off an enemy's armor to using for finishing moves. Also, almost everything you see lying around is breakable and will give you cash to purchase said upgrades; it would just be a waste of bullets to use them on shooting up every barrel and trash bag. The last little detail I would mention is the surprising use of the Wii remote speaker. Personally, mine is always off because the sound is usually awful quality and adds nothing to the experience. But, in Red Steel 2, the speaker is used to hear clicks when trying to unlock safes. You turn the remote as if it was the lock on the safe itself and listen for the clicking to know where to press A. Not a bad idea or implementation -- it was certainly never annoying. High praise for that little speaker.

To sum up this game, I can say it was a unique, enjoyable experience. The Motion Plus attachment was iffy at first, but over time I felt more and more comfortable with it. The point of view rotating with the swing stopped happening and really never happened in combat to begin with. The story was a nice mixture of classic plots, although the voice acting was a little off-putting, but there aren't many games that do that too well. I enjoyed the way to accept missions, along with collecting money, optional side quests, and upgrading your gun and sword. This game has a great deal of positives going for it and the addition of the, sadly under-used, Motion Plus does increase the overall quality. Especially in light of being one of the only games after a year to use it. I rate both Motion Plus and Red Steel 2 as Super Dope.

4.5/5 Near Perfect Score! Super Dope!

Obscure Title Tuesday: MTV's Remote Control!

Remote Control for the Nintendo Entertainment System! Or, as I like to call it…..no, you know what? No. You don’t even get a cutesy little stupid joke here, you piece of crap game! Just No. Gah Remote Control, how do I hate thee…. Let me count the ways:

It’s a quiz/trivia show based on the MTV show ‘Remote Control’ which was a tongue-in-cheek, meant to be stupid humor TV and music trivia show. It could be funny at times, what with the jokingly, overly raucous audience loudly yelling things throughout the show, especially if the three contestants had a good sense of humor. Think of it like Jeopardy, except totally, all-encompassingly laid back with like next to nothing on the line.

We all look like smiling douchebags!

Each game lasts around 15 minutes, and by 15 minutes, it is 15 minutes too long. The theme song is catchy, but it runs through the entire game non-stop and gets tiresome after about 2 minutes and annoying as all hell after 7 minutes (I timed it). Whoever wins gets a nice, short speech from the host ‘I am honored to be your video game’ and their face (you can select from 9 different faces, who smile or frown in different ways when you answer a question right or wrong) appears smiling on the main title screen. That’s it.

It works like a standard trivia game -- you select a category (just a number on a television, you don’t know what category you’re getting), they ask you a question, you buzz in, and select from 1 of 3 answers. If you get it right, points. Some time into the game, the person with the lowest number of points gets eliminated, then at the end you have a rapid fire round which has you complete the song, television show, or movie title from a list of 15 words. Just go down the list spamming the A and B button as fast as you can.

Insert humorous remark on photo here

With no raucous audience, no contestants, and hysterical quips from the 8-bit host like ‘Who do you think you are, Einstein?’ ‘Nice answer. And nice hair.’ And ‘If fish is brain food, I’m guessing you grew up in Nebraska!!” I don’t even F*cking get that one. This video game pretty much has nothing going for it for 3 reasons:

1) There’s no essence of the show in this game and/or a sense of humor. Sure, they tried. I’m sure someone, somewhere, at some point on the game developer staff thought that if, when a contestant got an answer right, the host said ‘Who do you think you are, Einstein????’ kids would bust out laughing so hard they’d pee their pants. And that makes me want to find that person and tell him to his face that he is not funny. And then break a light bulb over his head and say ‘Who do you think you are, Einstein?’ and then if he says ‘Einstein didn’t invent the light bulb, Thomas Edison did.’ Then I would say: ‘Who do you think you are, Einstein!!!!????’

Insert humorous remark on photo of crappy crap game here

2) The trivia is noticeably not for the target audience that would play this Video game. I cannot stress enough what a ridiculously obviously huge flaw that is! If anyone reading this were making a trivia game about television specifically geared for our generation (born around the late 80’s) you would probably put in plenty of references to those late 80’s/early 90’s Sunday morning cartoons and television shows we all watched, like Batman, Spiderman, Reboot, the one with the turtles, the one with the alien, the one with the Dinosaurs, the one with all the transforming, the purple one, the gay one, you know…. Television shows that we could have conceivably watched and known about. Almost every question here is about shows from primarily the 60’s and very early 70’s. You’d have to have been born around that time to get ‘em. I, then and now, often do not recognize all 3 of the actors or televisions shows listed as potential answers. Categories include ‘Mary Tyler Moore’ ‘Odd Couple’ and ‘Hogan’s Heroes.’ Yeah I’ve heard of these shows, but I don’t know enough about them to answer a trivia question based on one specific episode. The only categories I ever even recognized the answers to were the questions under ‘The Cartoon Show,’ ‘Gilligan’s Island’ and ‘The Bat Channel’ And even then it didn’t matter because you just raced to buzz in first and guess any random answer because you’re not gonna know it anyway and there’s no penalty for a wrong answer.

3) It’s boring. Gah, it’s soooo booooooring. It’s so boring, writing this article about it was boring. And that theme song WILL NOT STOP! I’m not even gonna link to it to give you a little taste because why put you through that? And there’s typos in the questions. GAH I hate this game!

I’m considering giving it the lowest score possible: A negative 12 out of 5. No seriously, there’s no replay value, it’s really annoying, and there’s nothing redeeming about it-………..ladies and gentleman, we have a winner. For the first time ever on superdopegaming dot com, I present you with: a straight up goose egg:

0/5 ZERO OUT OF 5!! EPIC VIDEO GAME FAAAIIL!!! GO TO HELL MTV!!!!!

Nostalgia: in 8-bits

Guy in the Present Day: You like video games? That’s cool, what’s your favorite? No way, that’s mine too! Oh man, we have like so much in common. They’re coming out with another sequel? I can’t wait til they—wut? Side scroller? *Spit take* Dammit, I paid like 5 bucks for that Frappe Happy Chino. NO, I WILL NOT STOP CRYING! Wanna go out sometime?

Old Man 50 Years in the Future: Back in my day there were only two dimensions. You could walk forward or you could walk backwards…level permitting. I mean that ish was linear! None of this fancy sideways, loosey goosey, 4D, spacetime crap that you hooligans play these days. There was a nasty word for people like us. It had many more negative connotations then than it does now. It began with the letter n. Any guess? Bobby, go to your room! I never want to see you again! You have to eat this bar of Astronaut Soap while you are at it. The word was nerd. N-E-R-D. And to describe it in my old man lingo, it was a M-M-M-M-Monster KILL Kill kill kill kill *Grandpa dissolves into the atmosphere*

Make what you will of those two exchanges but—actually just completely ignore them. I don't know what I'm doing. But let’s see *shuffles through notes* ah, yes. So you know how a lot of people like video games, right? And like how popular culture has assimilated video games into everything from music, to clothing, to movies, and even those things called books? Well, I guess I just find it interesting that when the video games are directly referenced in another medium, it tends to reference games from the 8-bit days. Ya know, the Mario, the Sonic, the Pac Man with his Mrs. Man. Why is this?

RIP Tonight Show with Conan O Brien

Well, for one can you think of a style in recent video games as distinctive as any of that released after SNES and Sega Genesis? Sure games have improved in terms of how realistic, or at least how clear everything looks. But take a look at that jagged block world of the 8-bit. Somehow a bunch of red, blue, and peach colored squares make up an Italian plumber.

The aesthetics of a classic retro 8-bit game could be compared to the cubist movement. I mean, why not?

Woman Playing Mandolin by Picasso

The limitations of the first video games allowed this unique style to develop, and yet this style continues to live on through popular culture. The recent game 3D Dot Game Heroes pays extensive homage to 8-bit games of the past (particularly Zelda) and puts the style in a 3D environment.

Even the 8-bit soundtracks have become iconic for their distinct synth sound. The film adaptation of Scott Pilgrim Vs the World, a comic that essentially takes place in the environment of a video game, even takes the Universal Studios logo and remakes it into an 8-bit graphic, complete with the distorted NES soundtrack. These beeps, bleeps, and boops occasionally find their way into songs as well. The band Crystal Castles, as a matter of fact, specialize in creating haunting electronic beats with old school game soundtracks mixed with distorted sound effects from said games. ( Their song entitled Vanished: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56E8yYgLNHE&feature=related)

Even game developers are finding themselves steeped in the nostalgia of the side-scrollin’ old days. With the release of the Scott Pilgrim game, Super Mario Bros. Wii, Shadow Complex, and the soon to be released Sonic 4, side scrollers still remain a classic way to have fun. It is a nice change of pace to have games as linear as these, opposed to the seemingly endless choices that are provided in World of Warcraft, GTA, and Fallout 3. Less can be more on some occasions. Or maybe developers figure it is generally easier to make side scrollers and, in effect, easier to make some quick money to feed their drug addictions. Or their children.

Perhaps the most obvious reason for all this commotion is just nostalgia in general, and how retro items become popular again at some point in time. Yeah, 8-bit might not be the future of games, but I suppose it is always a good idea to pay some mad respect to the past. Or else feel the wrath of the 8-bit gods as they get retro on yo @$$.

http://tppto.ytmnd.com/

Why Would You Ever Give a Woman a Voice?

As anyone who has known me is uncomfortably aware of, I have a few obsessions. To name a few of the few they are (in order from least important to most): doing my best, making the world a better place, procrastinating on articles in order to drive my supervisor crazy (Mr. Gregory Allen), how to scheme on women, and lastly (and closely tied to it) Ms. Samus Aran. Although I am old enough to have enjoyed Super Metroid (even Metroid II to a lesser extent although I didn't have a Game Boy and it's a sadly repetitive game in terms of boss battles and progression), my fascination with the gal was much belated, as I was a Genesis owner during that console cycle.

It was on a November night during my sophomore year of high school when I picked up Metroid Prime on its release date. It received a rare Platinum Score from Electronic Gaming Monthly, which was my Gaming Gospel at the time, by receiving 3 10s from its review crew. As a Nintendo fanboy, I felt obliged to support this series given that it was my first real opportunity to do so. Thus, it was with much fervor and anticipation that I bought this game on its release date even though I had a project due for my religion class the next day. Even though I was a quality student at the time, I did not feel the slightest tinge of guilt. Why? Cuz I knew God understood.

Too bad my Mom didn't.

I was only able to play that first level in that space hanger frigate until my maternal parental unit burst into my room ripping the door out of its frame and using the door to slam against the pillars of our house causing the whole foundation of the house to tremor with the ferocity and unmercy of a California quake. I remember the fear that my mother instilled I me – almost as much as the first boss battle with the Parasite Queen. My mother even looks eerily similar to that huge bug thing.

Parasite Queen AKA KeepinItFresh's Mom

Continuing with our article, I remember the sense of isolation and mystery that the environment enraptured in me. Space Pirates ninja-rolling at me out of nowhere and shooting at me with the accuracy of a 3 year old and his first showdown with a real toilet. Towards the end of the level, you're blown away by an explosion caused by a malfunctioning elevator (I believe) and you lose everything. Missiles, grapple beam, charge shot, double jumping ability. Everything that you had is lost. I felt weak and powerless – just like real life. Except I know I had the promise of becoming something unlike this worldly realm. This was a big part of the allure to me for this game.

So what made Samus so appealing? Did you not notice the shift in perspective I used in the previous paragraphs? YOU become Samus. Samus is more or less a silent protagonist. As is the appeal with all silent protagonists, I would argue, is that it is basically a metaphorical stand-in for the player. That's why you Zelda series fans love Link, right? I can't imagine the appeal of a silent protagonist in any other sense. No personality, no character, no traits. Those qualities are perfect in allowing one to project their own expectations and ideals onto a person. Such as the player to the main character or a stalker from afar and their unsuspecting victim.

In a sense, this is what I experienced in Metroid Prime. I recently read an article discussing Metroid that the “planets and environments that you explore are the real characters. The most appealing part of the [Metroid] series has always been exploration." (1) This was uttered by a man named Patrick Carr, aged 28 years old and hails from Chicago, Illinois. There is no other accreditation given to this man yet his quotation is used in the aforementioned article. Is he on to something? Well, it sounds reasonable enough, although I am not totally sold on that character theory, I must admit that the environment and world design is what allowed me to fall in love with the series. The worlds that Samus explores are huge, littered with detail, and were completely immersing to me. It was more than a virtual escape – it was an experience.

Metroid Prime happened to be the first and best videogame that fostered that sense in me. It was the Metroid universe that I fell in love with. My idealization of Samus just happened to be a byproduct of my captivation with the terrain that she was exploring. Now, with that being said, one could argue from the preceding premise that had Metroid Prime's world been the same yet the protagonist been anything else, say a Richard Simmons-like character painting the world with clown-vomit as his main weapon of choice, then that particular character would happen to be the most beloved in my heart. However, I contend that would-be assertion as that takes away from the character design of Samus, which I find to be complementary and extension of the 'experience.' For instance, I believe her suit design to be unequivocally bad-ass. The detail of her Varia suit was illuminated in comparison to her Smash Bros. And Metroid game appearances. The distinctive bulky shoulders, powerful arm cannon, coupled into a galactic spacesuit that still allowed one to be agile was unmatched in terms of gear for a videogame character. It was creative, fascinating, and looked crazy pretty on the Gamecube.

So, in attempting to justify my non-perverse love for Samus, I say the following with a true heart and well-intentioned outlook for the Metroid series. I'm afraid of getting to know Samus too well -- both physically and emotionally. Sure, some can say that I was a victim of a sex crime as a child and I fear any type of intimacy from any person lest I be taken advantage of again (I plead the fifth to that one) but I promise you that it's deeper than judging her based off the past sins of others. All I can say is that Samus might be a bit too developed for me – and I mean that in an appropriate and inappropriate sense.

I don't appreciate the sexualization of Samus and this fan service that Nintendo has been committing in years past in dressing down the famed heroine in order to win over the interest and appeal of whoever the eff they're trying to get at (I can only assume prepubescent boys and basement-dwelling internet predators). My disgust is mostly aimed at the advent of Zero Suit Samus in Brawl. Although I concede that that game is not a part of the Metroid canon – it most definitely had a direct impact on the Metroid games as Samus can be witnessed in her Zero Suit (as designed by the Brawl creators) when zippin around in her ship during one of the cutscenes of Metroid Prime 3: Corruption. Granted, Samus never goes about parading around while in her zero suit, but the effects of Samus' sexualizaion has a realized effect on the games itself.

With the upcoming release of Metroid: Other M, I find it appropriate to voice this next worry. From what I've seen so far I have no reason for concern in terms of Samus being overly exposed in a physical sense (mind you it is Team Ninja of Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball [and Ninja Gaiden but that doesn't help to serve my point]). However, this latest installment in the series sees Samus' character being developed (I assume) with fleshed-out cinematics and voiceovers. Candidly, I don't know if this is gonna be a great idea or not. There are seriously two examples that jumped out to me when thinking of things that don't seem like a great idea, yet they somehow work. First, four years ago, some guy decided it'd be a great idea to deep fry coke. I don't know if that guy was on something nor even cognizant but he fried coke and people pay for it at fairs. So as off-the-wall as that sounds, that turned out to be okay. Additionally, and probably even crazier, the Lakers decided to add Ron Artest at the expense of Trevor Ariza last off-season. They signed a man that ran into the stands and beat the shit out of paying customers. However, the Lakers just won back to back titles.

Voice-overs for Samus: Crazier than Ron Artest?

Is adding voiceovers for Samus in her upcoming games as batshit insane as these two examples I just conjured up? I don't give a shit what you think; you're not writing the article.

To take away one of the the main allures of Samus, in my opinion, by developing her personality into a concrete set of qualities eliminates the sense of mystery that was afforded to her. It runs the risk of alienating the gamers that identified with her due to her lack of prescribed attributes. This, to me, gives me reason for concern for the upcoming release of Metroid: Other M.

Also, the graphics look pretty shitty.

1. http://www.1up.com/do/feature?pager.offset=2&cId=3180650

Wii: It’s You or Me

Dearest Wii,

You know, I use that title loosely now to be honest. When you first came out in 2006, I was teeming with excitement. Adding motion-control to the already interactive medium of videogames seemed like a guarantee for more immersive and enthralling experiences. I believed that Nintendo had proven with their 20+ year track record that they possessed the creativity and developer’s pedigree to make it worthwhile. Coupled with their franchises that I treasure with my childhood heart, I figured my experience with you would be unmatched up until that point in time.

These were gaudy expectations assuredly. Yet with all that said, I didn't own you initially because I had less interest in the launch games than that of parents who abandon their newborn baby in a dumpster (Shockingly, I'm not a Zelda fan. I know that's heresy coming from a self-proclaimed Nintendo fanboy but everyone’s favorite iconic elf has never quite tickled my fancy.). Regardless, I was there with you from your humble beginning thanks to my then-girlfriend's Christmas gift to me in 2006 (Note: It didn't work out and she convinced me that adoption was a better way to “make the problem go away”).

My first game was that of Warioware: Smooth Moves. ‘Twas a novel little title – kinda cute. That's really all I could say about it. A little zany, a little whacky. Kinda like me. Or a drunken Friday night (although I have better memories of playing this game 4 years ago than any particular Friday night I've had in the past year). In all fairness, any game that was to accompany my new ownership of you would pale in comparison to the game that I truly wanted – and that was Super Smash Bros. Brawl. I knew that once Brawl came out that you would prove to be a worthwhile investment.

Indeed, this personal assessment proved to be correct. On the (mid)night that Brawl was finally released in March 2008, I played it for 24 hours straight and logged in a voluminous amount of matches witnessing Bowser violating other characters' dignity and rights as sexual beings (hint: do his down throw). As an added bonus: I basked in the male-bonding friendship that the game fostered betwixt me and my well-groomed college friends. I strongly believe that the rapport and camaraderie that was created amongst my colleagues and I during those long days into nights cannot ever be replicated by any amount of affection, emotional understanding, nor spontaneous gyrating dog piles on other men's beds. I shall spare the details for our dear voyeur reader and insist that the audience just take my word for it. All in all, none of that would have been possible without you, Wii. I deeply thank you for that and the deeper issue that it consequently helped me to resolve.

Aside from Brawl, I have had my little trysts with Super Mario Galaxy 1 & 2, Metroid Prime: Trilogy, and Mario Kart Wii. Also, being a huge baseball fan, I picked up Super Mario Sluggers, and both iterations of MLB Power Pros. Not much of a collection but the titles served their purpose for an acceptable duration of time. As you know, Wii, Brawl would continue to garner the majority of gameplay until I sadly, and unwillingly, graduated from college. I guess without others getting in on the action, I felt like the majority of our activities were... well... boring. It was tough to admit but I felt like we had gotten into a rut.

Now here I sit, staring at you collecting dust. That's actually not even true. I don't even take the time to look at you anymore. You're too ugly to me. I stare at you and I'm filled with regret with all the time that we've lost, bitterness over the memories we shared in better times, anger over the unrealized potential that we had, and disgust at the shell of a console that you were. You've seriously let yourself go, Wii, with your missing controller and memory card covers. Sure, you can blame it on me, but you deserved it. I asked to be treated with respect and you shower me with trash such as My Horse & Me and Catz along with upcoming classic releases such as The Bachelorette. I just wanted to be treated with a reverence; something that I felt from all my previous consoles. And it’s terribly difficult to feel that that desire is being adhered to when you're continually attempting to shove piles of recycled s*** down my throat.

But I know I should be more understanding. v_v

Surely, this is just some isolated personal experience – an outlier of an anecdote. Being forced out into the 'real world,’ I now find myself in a whirlwind of desires pulling at me that are not particularly conducive to videogaming, much less spending time with you. There are actually two main things. One of them is called real life. I do my best with trying to cope with having to live out this 'true' world. My primary method of bringing myself solace is in perceiving the parallels between life and videogames. I view each challenge that is presented to me in this annoying realm of reality as a metaphorical videogame task. For instance, I attempt to hone my skills in pursuit of “leveling up” to a better job/career, and physically train rigorously to perform new achievements, conquer new territory, and capture trophies [read: working out, women, and women].

But that's not all that's come between you and I, Wii. I mean, there is another girl in the picture now. That PS3 gal was able to offer me all those true iterations of games that, quite frankly, are always some watered-down, gimmicked cripple of a game on your hardware. I don't know who to blame. I mean, if that's the kinda people that you attract that will buy that sorta thing, then that's cool. It's totally understandable. I know you're just trying to make a living, setting up a good situation for your next kid. You've found your niche and you do it well. I can't hate on that. But the fact of the matter is you couldn't ever run a Madden NFL, Call of Duty, or Dead Space in its true form. Quite simply, you just don't got the goods on the inside. And that's kind of a personal thing.

I guess we just have our fundamental differences, Wii. You’re not everything that I quite envisioned you to be but I know that I should do my best to appreciate the finer things about you. I know that I should be putting in more time with you and be better able to express that warm affection that I still do have for you. But you gotta fulfill your end of the bargain as well. Treat me as an esteemed gamer and not a vapid schoolgirl, or lifeless housewife.

Then again, I guess what does it matter when you’ll just end up in the attic in 2 years?

Just like everyone else I’ve ever loved.

Obscure Title Tuesday: Nightshade!

Welcome to Obscure Title Tuesday! Nothing like the offer to write weekly for a video game review website to get my mind off of the skull-numbing awfulness of law school!! (No offense Syracuse.) (But really…it's bad, you guys.)

Nightshade for the Nintendo Entertainment System! (Or, as I refer to it in jealousy since I never owned a Super Nintendo….Regular Nintendo.)

Nightshade is an enjoyable obscure game with a fairly classic superhero plot: Wannabe superhero Nightshade decides to step up to protect the city in place of the legitimate fallen hero. (Whose corpse you find hanging poisoned later on in the game. Badass!) This 'taking up the reigns of a former, established superhero' is further accentuated throughout the game by not only the fact that various townspeople keep biffing your name (Lampshade, Nightman, Nighthawk…copyright?) but there is a 'popularity' meter which goes up or down depending on whether you do generally honorable or crappy things. You need a certain amount of popularity to reach the later parts of the game.

The controls are similar to both a side-scroller and a point-and-click game. You control trench coat-wearing Nightshade, who can walk around the screen and fight crime with various kicks and punches, and you can walk left, right, up or down to change the scene. Clicking select, however, gives you a cursor which you can use to point and click on things in the game, and also if you scroll to the bottom of the screen, options such as 'pick up,' 'examine,' 'use,' 'operate,' etc., appear.

The Town, Metro City, is fairly large with very good graphics for a NES game. The skyscrapers are convincing and the town is diverse with cemeteries, bars, pawn shops, restaurants, nightclubs, and an apartment building that's on fire! (You can rush in and save a woman, thus building your popularity meter.) Side note: In a department store, if you walk up to the changing rooms and click operate, the curtain slides back revealing a woman in her underwear. She screams and you lose popularity points. Of course, if you don't give a crap, you can just keep on clicking on that dressing room and continue to lose popularity points and creep on that 8 bit hottie like my 8-year-old self did--not gonna lie.

In one of my favorite moments in the game, everything goes white except for a small blue box in the center of the screen with a question mark in.........I think something's wrong with my computer.

I think the tone and greatest thing about this game can best be captured by simply explaining exactly what happens in the first one minute of starting the game. A cut scene occurs in which Nightshade talks about crime in the city, hopelessness, and despair, then decides, triumphantly, to protect the city and uphold justice. In the first scene of the actual game, you are tied to a chair in a sewer with the main bad guy, Sutekh, behind you, taunting: "Your superhero career is over before it has even begun! Now no one can stop me!" Behind you are a lit bomb and a candle. All you can do is wiggle to and fro in your chair. Clicking select and examining the only two items nearby, the bomb and the candle, yield these two messages:
“There is a seriously large bomb right behind you, about to explode. If only Nightshade wasn't tied to this chair with easily burnable rope.”
“There is a lit candle here in the sewer for absolutely no reason. Hmmmm.”

You unsurprisingly use the candle to burn through the ropes, but not before the bomb explodes in your face and kills 3/4th of your health! IN THE FIRST TWELVE SECONDS OF GAMEPLAY!! I love that. It establishes Sutekh as a legitimate bad guy who is NOT messing around! He will detonate a bomb IN YOUR FACE and leave you to die in a sewer. You want to beat the game just so you can kick him in the ass. I mean, Jesus, 3/4 of my life! It's been twelve seconds, man!

A conspicuous lever on the left and suit of armor on the right, ay? Hmmm....

The humor is what makes this game what it is. From the first moments of the game with the bomb and the candle, humor, sarcasm, irony, and…um….situational irony are at every turn. Some of my favorite moments include: You save a townsperson from a thief and he says: "Thank you! Here is a seriously large wad of money!" He then runs away into the night. Also, one of the stock bad guys you fight throughout the game is a robot that is '2 dimensions' (You have to jump over it and punch it when it turns.) In Nightshade's first encounter with it, he says: "Oh No!…….2 Dimensions!……..Inconceivable!" The whole game is, of course, in 2-dimensions itself. It's irony! You can get a whistle that literally serves no purpose for the whole game, but you can blow on it and it goes, "Tweet. Tweet. Tweeeeeeeeeet!" and Nightshade says: "Ah, music. I was born to it."

You can't get past this one part in the game because a stereotypical Italian chef won't let you pass through the nightclub kitchen. You then explore the town and find the only other stereotypical Italian-looking chef in the whole game. You save him from a ninja (The game has ninjas.) and he tells you to, "Go-a talk-a to my Brother! He will-a help you!" As soon as you walk into the kitchen the chef says, "Hey--You look-a like the kind of person who recently talked to my brother! Go on ahead!" My favorite moment comes early on in the game. You get a crowbar and, while still experimenting with the point-and-click control style, you try to use the crowbar on a nearby statue. I kid you not, the game says:
"The statue moves revealing one million dollars, plus you win the Johhny and Linedeckers award for excellence in crowbar durability! Just kidding, the crowbar snaps in two. Just kidding."
The first time I read that I thought I ruined my crowbar or I was rich. It was actually neither…..just an awesome game.

Also of noteworthiness is what happens when you die. Every time you die, Sutketh puts you in an elaborate death trap. Uniquely, there is a way to get out of each of them (there are six) except for the last one. The first one is a slow-moving conveyer belt (you can use your foot to stop the belt), the second one is a slow-moving wall coming towards you….actually, they all involve slow-moving somethings. However, for some, to survive you need a specific item, like the crowbar. Once you escape, you return to the city's main street. This functions as a continue or an extra life.

If only Nightshade could reach that 'stop' lever with his foot, but alas he is tied in place on a moving conveyer belt which will take him right past the....oh.

Beating the game is satisfying, and even if you don't, you get a humorous rating with a percentage of the game completed, to see how close or far you came. The first time I played the game I died immediately and received the rating of 'Total Wuss' and I completed 0 percent of the game. The difficulty factor is moderate, importantly not too easy, with a cool blend of fighting, side-scrolling, and point-and-clicking. It's funny, enjoyable, and still playable today. If you can find it (online, who are we kidding?) give it a go!

4/5 Humorous! Playable! Irony!!

Super Nintendo Sunday

This is the game I choose to follow up my last "Super Nintendo Sunday:" E.V.O. Search for Eden. This game was Spore before Spore was Spore. But, far from the critical acclaim of Will Wright's evolutionary epic lies E.V.O., and I can only hope that not everyone has played this game so my review of it will make some kind of impact on people. For those who have played it, comparing it to Spore may seem undeserving.

E.V.O. Search for Eden is a surprisingly addicting game. It may be that just the most simple of games are always the most addicting (look at Peggle) but that wouldn't be giving enough credit to the game itself. The point of the game is to grow and evolve. This is done by attacking - eating, I guess - other organisms. The spirit of the Earth has contacted you and hopes for you to grow into the best you can be. She seems like a nice lady, which makes me wonder what was so unimportant about all the creatures you'll spend your time eating. The game starts like you would expect a game about evolution to start: in the ocean as a small fish thing. You begin by eating what you can and running from what you can't, earning points which you use to upgrade yourself. The best bet is usually to buy something to help you attack stronger things, which earns you more points quicker.

Soon enough, you'll be on land with the rest of the more evolved races and you'll be using things your little fish guy never even dreamed of - like feet. From the small, four-legged, cat-from-hell like thing you'll become on land, you continue to find more souls to devour in order to feed your lust for evolution. Always the point is to grow, which I guess makes sense. Do the best you can with what you got, until you can get something better. That can maybe be related to all games, but with the evolution theme of this game, it rings even more truly. I have a feeling that if this game came out today, there would be an uprising among "the right" on account of the unfair presentation (or lack) of the argument for "intelligent design." Anyway, that's neither here nor there, but the fact that this game relies so heavily on something many people see as a hot-button topic remains interesting.

The actual gameplay, however, is not. Like I said, you go around attacking people in order to gain "EVO points" which you use to buy teeth which you use to eat other animals which gain points etc., etc. It's pretty monotonous, but it has its ups and downs. For instance, the process of going from sea, earth, and eventually air and beyond is a lot of fun. There's a sense of satisfaction from evolving into something that can eat bigger and bigger things. I think it's akin to the same feeling one gets in an RPG after you level-up and are finally able the beat that next big boss. What's more than that is how compelled you'll be to keep on going. The task never changes, but you'll always want to do it. Even when it's not fun anymore, you feel a strange urge to keep playing and eating others who aren't as evolved as you. Survival of the fittest in full effect. Maybe it stands as a testament to the major theme of evolution that E.V.O. is not a recognizable title to many people, but there are countless others who know exactly what Spore is.

With E.V.O., the question is, "Is it ok that the game loses its appeal after a while, even though it continues to be played?" The answer is No. Videogames are meant to be enjoyable and no one creates a game in hope that it won't be. I'm sure many people don't expect much from such a dated game, but it's on the SNES, not the Atari 7800. There isn't any dialog worth reading, the soundtrack is easily forgettable and the gameplay never changes. What does change is how you decide to form your own body, which has potential in that there can be many different and creative body types, but loses some ground when you realize that the best weapons (teeth) are still the most helpful. I like the premise, I do, but the game gets tedious. I'm not asking for a non-stop action game or an in-depth RPG with a little humor tossed in. But I am asking for more to a game than just moving and eating, over and over.

3/5 Average Score! Not Too Bad! Not Too Good!

Mario's Galaxy is Still Pretty Super

I've been playing Super Mario Galaxy 2 for a few weeks now, and I've tried to hold off on reviewing it until I actually completed the game. I don't think it would have been fair to judge a game before I know how it ends. That being said, I guess I knew that *Spoiler Alert* Mario would save Princess Peach from Bowser and it would all be very happy. What I mean when I say "before it ends," is that, even though I played this game for many, many hours, I would not feel as if I was doing the game justice if I only earned 50, 70, or even 110 stars. I could have loved every star but hated getting the final stars after you beat Bowser for the last time - unlike the previous Galaxy, this one actually has something worth doing after the final Bowser fight. So now that I've completed the game, I feel it's appropriate to write my long-awaited review.

Sequels are difficult to look at and review fairly. One always wants to judge a game based on it's own merits, but cannot help but to compare it to the first iteration. After all, a sequel is supposed to be a bigger, better version of the original. What makes Galaxy 2 specifically difficult is that it's not really a sequel, but can still qualify as one, despite the fact that this game is a bunch of ideas that weren't put in the first one. Miyamoto himself I believe referred to Galaxy 2 as "Galaxy 1.5." That being said, I can't just overlook the original in order to review the "sequel". Super Mario Galaxy was a fantastic game; the first real successor to Super Mario 64 (which came out in 1996). The flaws of the first Galaxy were few and far between and every level was a crazy new implementation of a wacky idea. Why would a Queen Bee exist if all she does is ask you to scratch her back? Why would the fire and ice worlds be in one galaxy? Why did Luigi even try to get stars at all? All of these combined just makes for a truly fun and enjoyable experience that, I'm sad to say, the second Galaxy does not match.

What's new in Super Mario Galaxy 2? Yoshi, who was always fun to ride, is the obvious one, which includes the 3 power-ups Yoshi can eat, and the various things his tongue can do. Then we get Cloud Mario, Rock Mario, and Drill Mario, each with worlds designed to fit these new suits. Are these suits used often enough to make a unique experience that separates it from the first game? Not to me. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed climbing onto clouds and bowling over enemies; though I must be honest, I didn't really enjoy the drill, it just made me impatient. Are the previous suits used often enough to make them worth keeping around? Not really. Bee Mario seemed to get much more screen time than the Fire, spring, or Ghost outfits (I think each was used only once or twice?) and the Ice flower isn't even in the game. Which is a shame since that was one of my favorites from the first Galaxy. Hell, even Yoshi's power-ups aren't used as much as I would like. The light bulb is only present in two levels and the other two are used a few more times, and I would have liked to see more Yoshi in general, which I don't think is unreasonable since he now shares the cover of the game with Mario. The best "new" implementation was the way the comets were done. I thought making the purple coins show up less was a great idea and I loved the new short-time speed runs, where you have to keep getting clocks to add ten seconds to the time limit. I also really enjoyed the new way to move between galaxies and universes since it made the game feel much more streamlined, but also much more like a classic Mario game (all of which I love, but I have been getting a little bored with the same old routine). I appreciated the slightly improved two-player mode, which still falls flat but is an improvement nonetheless.

In comparative difficulty, Galaxy 2 is harder, which is a good thing, since there were only a couple levels in the first that killed me so many times that I lost count. For this one, there were easily ten or so levels that I had to do over and over again. Let me just say, Thank God the ray surfing didn't make it back, but damn you Mario creators for adding Fluzzard; there is nothing worse than having to depend on the wiimote tilting in order to navigate through small tunnels or under thwomps, especially when it's a race. Bosses, I found, were also much more difficult. That snake/worm guy who tunnels through the planet was pretty hard at first and the Bowser fights were all harder than any of the Bowser battles in the first Galaxy. And even though, like the first one, every brawl with Bowser was the same, I was happy with them on the whole. What I have the most disdain for in this game, however, is Baby Bowser, who comes off as an annoying kid rather than a formidable foe. Although, his boss fights were much more creative than anything with Bowser, so I guess it's give/take.

I can't think of any other faults. Galaxy 2 was orchestrated beautifully, both of them were, the controls are exactly like the first (smooth and easy), and the game itself looks bright, colorful, and really just amazing for any console. If I were to have played this game before the first Galaxy, then I probably would have enjoyed this version much more, on account of Yoshi, the new way of doing the purple coins, and post-final-Bowser reward. But that's not how it is and I can't ignore that what's in this game is largely more of the same - not just of Galaxy but perhaps of all Mario games. Galaxy 2 of course still stands out among Wii games and deserves to be played by any Mario/Nintendo fan, but if you've already completed the first one, then just rent it for a couple weeks and go at it because it won't seem like a different game, but rather more like an expansion of the first. That means the game is a lot of fun, excels with what it was trying to do, and holds up among the best Wii titles, but doesn't make as much of an impact as the original, which I would have given a 4.5/5, but only because of low difficulty and the purple coins.

4/5 Near Perfect Score! Super Good!