Giving Thanks to Gaming

Soon, one of the most fattening days of the year will be upon us.  Thanksgiving is usually seen as a time to be grateful for what we have, who we have in our lives, and what we're lucky enough to do with our lives.  This is done by eating a giant meal with our families and loved ones and maybe saying a word of thanks before digging in.  Some families have traditions for this day: to go around the table and give thanks, the father cutting into the turkey, watching hours of football with an unbuckled belt.  Whatever your personal tradition, Super Dope Gaming hopes you each have a lovely Thanksgiving, full of joy and laughter.  For those gamers out there, more concerned with getting to the next level than with what part of the bird you get to eat, here is a selection of games that you should not only be thankful for, but also ones that you can share with others.

1. MarioKart Wii

The game that keeps on giving, even after all the courses have been memorized and you've become a pro at drifting.  No, not with DLC; MarioKart Wii allows for a rewarding experience through 32 tracks, half of which are taken from previous MarioKart games and updated; split screen multiplayer, competitive online matches, a leader board, fun and exciting items, and more characters to play as than ever.  This game, like it's predecessors, is most enjoyed when playing with friends -- just make sure they know what they're doing first, racing against beginners is never fun -- and having several hours devoted to finding out who's the better kart driver.  The courses aren't too challenging, which means more people can get in on the action, but some of the most difficult challenges come from catching up to your friend after a blue shell.  This game is always a fun time with a small group and works best when people just want to have fun and forget the serious nature of other games.

2. World of Warcraft

I know, I know, it's an MMO and a lot of people don't have it or don't want to pay the $15 a month subscription fee.  I don't blame you.  But what could be better than getting a group of your friends online and setting up a PvP raid against the Alliance?  It's been a long time since I played WoW (it was back before the first expansion) but the best memories I have of my 60+ days of play time are the ones where I took a trip to Ironforge and sneaked around, ganking low-level noobs.  I was cruel.  Of course, there have been battle grounds for a long time, places where there can be a point to the pointless slaughtering of others, but the best situation is going to the lowest leveled, contested area and griefing the rival faction with your friends, hopefully there with you at a LAN party.  Ah, memories.

3. Super Smash Brothers Brawl

Another Wii game, but deservedly on this list.  Not too many people can keep up with the fast pacing of Melee, and there are some who won't go near the clunky, unbalanced mess that is the original Smash Brothers, so that leaves the latest iteration of the series.  This game has pissed off "hardcore" fighter fans since it came out, but does much to improve on accepted greatness.  Brawl offers a roster of 35 characters and 41 stages, which is more than enough to add the required depth for more serious players and a great way to bring in people whose favorite characters may not have been in the games before.  The game offers a Co-op mode, the subspace emissary, which is a pretty big let-down, really, but the game shines when it's a group of four going at it on random stages.  You can make it more competitive by getting rid of items and, if you're playing against someone without much experience, you can add a handicap to make it easier.  If you want crazy fun, create your own stage with lots of traps and spikes, then turn on items to very high and watch as sh*t hits the fan.

4. Secret of Mana

An oldie but a goodie.  If you want retro fun with a great game, then look no further than this classic gem.  Secret of Mana allows for two or three (with a multitap) people to play in what is usually a single-player genre.  This SNES game does what most RPGs now don't even do: have each person control a member of your party.  It's perfect and I don't know why it doesn't happen in each party-gathering RPG.  Taking down run-of-the-mill baddies to a giant moth-thing and then a giant bat-thing with your friends instills a great feeling of accomplishment in each person.  Leveling-up is also a feel-good experience during which you can be cheered on by your friends for now being able to kill enemies in a single hit, or be berated for having chosen the cleric.  Clerics are lame.  The game loses a few points for having only three characters, but gains it all back and more in the stellar gameplay.

5. The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventures

This game is both the longest-titled on the list and my personal favorite.  It holds a special place in my heart because A Link to the Past is one of my favorite games (Ocarina of Time is still better) and I have great memories with my friends.  The story is different, but the visuals and the dungeons are taken frame-by-frame from the SNES version.  It's hands-down the most difficult to arrange with your friends since, in addition to the game, you need four Game Boy Advances or SPs, and also a connector cord for each to plug into the Gamecube.  These are not easy to come by, but once it happens, it's a thing of magic.  Top-down, multi-player Zelda action.  My friends and I have taken a weekend off just to take the time to get through the game.  There isn't a lot of difficulty for fans of the Zelda series, but there is a ton of carnage.  Each player can hold an item (some of which can be upgraded) and use that item to attack other players.  You got bombs? Blow up your friends.  A Roc's feather? Jump up and slam them.  A hammer?  You know what to do.  Then, at the end of each level, you can vote for the best and worst "hero" to further honor or denounce your friends.  I would still love to play this game, but my God, are those connector cables a b*tch to find... and three other gamer friends.

Gameism: The Doctrine of Judging Others Based on Their Gaming Practices

How often have you basked in the all-encompassing, reflected light from a new gaming disc?  To whom do you listen during such great, historical events such as E3 or the GDC?  What are the games in which you are most interested?  Forget those questions for now; they don't matter.  What does matter is how what you do -- how you act -- reflects on you.  If I go around punching children and stealing from blind people, chances are I am not a good person.  If I have a gaming blog and look forward to reading other gaming blogs, I would say it's a safe bet I also play videogames.  Maybe something just as likely is that spend large amounts of time playing these games and forgo anything else.  This is all fine and good, but what about the types of games you buy?  Well, that probably says something about you too.  How about the consoles?  Do you think each console defines who that gamer is?  I hope not.  Don't be a Gameist.

One day, I will punch these children.

Let's begin with real life in a generic sense: type of console.  I have a Wii.  I do not have an Xbox 360 nor a PS3.  Since I have a Wii, maybe you can assume I'm a casual gamer and that I love playing games like Wii Sports or Farmville.  Or that I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to gaming since anyone who owns a Wii is either 73 or 7. If you think these things, you are one of the flawed Gameists.  Similar to Sexists and not as traditional as Racists, Gameists have their own preconceived stereotypes for different kinds of gamers.  For my own sake, I hate games like Farmville.  I could never stand to play any Facebook game and I only play Wii Sports after being dragged into it by the actual casual gamers.  I have Team Fortress 2 and Mass Effect 2 on my PC hard drive.  I love those games.  But there are some people out there who willingly accept Wii gamers as childish and it's almost to the point of defining them as not actually gamers.  Personally, I have not been a victim of this prejudice, but the victims are out there.  Do what you can to help the less fortunate.

When it comes to the PS3, you may guess these gamers are skinny Asians -- or people who wish they were skinny Asians -- who spend most of their time playing expansive and vastly time consuming JRPGs like the Final Fantasy series.  And, of course, these people always have some new JPOP going in the background, right?  Well Think Again!  I have friends who own a PS3; one is white, one is Jewish and another is Mexican.  None of them take more pleasure in Japan than is appropriate.  What is wrong in the minds of these Gameists that such prejudices exist?  Do they just listen to the representatives of the products they own and never hear anything from the other sides of the aisle?  Are these people set on categorizing everyone into these narrow stereotypes that limit other gamers?  It seems like it sometimes, it seems like it indeed.

 One of these people own a PS3, the other owns a Wii.  You Decide.

And what about the Xbox 360 owners?  Are they all shooter-obsessed bros, who buy cases of "amp" and insist every time they die is a lucky shot?  Does each Xbox 360 gamer yell into their headset, swearing and hypothesizing about another's sexual orientation?  Well...  Well, Okay, some are more true than others, but you get the idea.  What console one owns does not, for the most part, determine what kind of a person one is.  But those damn Gameists and their Gameism.  How do they think they can lump so many people together and make them faceless embodiments of a specific type of gamer?  Let the gamer community unite under one flag and realize that, even though we are all different on the outside, we are all the same on the inside.  Every gamer is a gamer because of their love for videogames.  Let us extend that love to one another and Stop this senseless Gameism.  Is this the dream of which Dr. King spoke?  Is this what the honored Veterans have fought and died for?  I can honestly tell you, without a doubt in my mind, that answer is no.  Thank you, everyone, and don't forget to do what's best for the gaming community.

So Far the Only Reason to Buy Motion Plus

Like the typical, hardcore, Wii gamer, I bought the Motion Plus add-on as soon as it came out. It was only $20, and I was sure there would be many more games coming out that will need the 1:1 apparatus of motion control. Or, at the very least I thought, the next Zelda will have Motion Plus. Well, turns out that the very least is exactly what I got. That's not a remark on Red Steel 2, but on the countless companies that failed to utilize the accessory. Ok, countless may be stretching it. It has, after all, only been on the market since June 2009 and any game that was in the works before that couldn't possibly add such a unique feature as an afterthought. Red Steel 2, however, implemented it beforehand with ample time, despite the game's lack of commercial success. In regards to the poor sales figures, the Creative Director, Jason Vandenbergite, of the game told IGN that Red Steel 2 had a very small audience window and explained how gamers didn't want to "exert themselves." Neither of those arguments is unfair, but the latter makes me wonder about the future of the Playstation Move and Microsoft's Kinect.

To begin with Red Steel 2, I must admit I was excited to play this game long before I ever got the chance. Sword fighting, westerns and 1:1 movement will do that to me. But my first copy of the game had to be sent back because it was faulty and it was over a month before I found it again for the same price. So one can understand that the buildup of desire was much like that of a virgin high schooler at his prom. I was also just as hopeful of experiencing something that I thought would change everything. I would never -- could never -- go back to what it was like before direct 1:1 motion. For those of you not familiar with the Motion Plus accessory, it doesn't live up to this hype, which is seen clearly now with the noticeably few games that even offer the option of using it. Only one game, to date, takes advantage of the accessory and offers a complete gaming experience. The review of Red Steel 2, then, must include a review of Motion Plus gaming.

The opening cinematic of Red Steel 2 was very impressive. You begin by being tied by the wrists to the back of a motorcycle going through the desert and nearby city. I instantly thought, "wow, this looks fantastic. Cel-shading and the Wii are a perfect match." Even better was the idea that whoever gets dragged behind a bike like that would surely be dead by the end of the ride. I even winced a couple times when hitting glass bottles. Eventually the sequence ends and I was happily surprised when the in-game graphics stayed in step with the cinematic. We find out our hero is a member of the Kusagari clan, and so we start wandering the city in search of other Kusagari clansmen. At first the only weapon available is a gun, but that changes after a few minutes. The moment of truth for the Motion Plus add on. Can 1:1 movement improve the overall quality of a game? It took some getting used to, that's for sure. At first I was not able to swing the sword without turning the point of view in tandem with my swing. But, yes, there was 1:1 movement and it definitely made a difference in the game. For instance, the game immediately tells you to swing "with your elbow" because frilly wrist waggles won't be enough. The strength of the sword swipe depends on how fast and long your movement is. I can honestly say that my arm felt a little sore after a while, though, and I used to play tennis.

The entire set up works very well together. Motion Plus completely changes the action of the game. Since no one without wrists the size of dictionaries will be able to make little movements effective against the enemies, the gameplay is much more difficult. No sitting and leaning back. You gotta be front and center, ready to have broad slashes against armored foes. It doesn't feel like you're actually swinging a sword, even if the Wii remote is now longer, but it does get your head more into the game. As for the gun, there's nothing special there. It would work exactly the same without Motion Plus. Think Resident Evil 4 but without the stationary shooting. And the zombies.

As I mentioned earlier, the game's story is reminiscent of a spaghetti western. You get to play the wanderer who comes in to clean up the town, which is under siege by a group of bandits. In addition, there is also some classic Japanese story-telling here. The lone samurai, having been disgraced and banished by his clan, returns to help in a clan war and has to deal with other, sword-wielding assassins. The look and sound also blend the East and West. Not only are there paper lanterns, but telephones and vending machines. Not only is there a drunken-ish sheriff, but also a samurai master who reluctantly agrees to train you. If you're a fan of films like "Unforgiven" or "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly" you will recognize the classic western sound, but with a Japanese tinge to it.

The combat gameplay largely relies on the sword, but that's the point. There is the option of buying additional guns and upgrades for them, but you can play the whole game without using your gun, while you need the sword for several things from taking off an enemy's armor to using for finishing moves. Also, almost everything you see lying around is breakable and will give you cash to purchase said upgrades; it would just be a waste of bullets to use them on shooting up every barrel and trash bag. The last little detail I would mention is the surprising use of the Wii remote speaker. Personally, mine is always off because the sound is usually awful quality and adds nothing to the experience. But, in Red Steel 2, the speaker is used to hear clicks when trying to unlock safes. You turn the remote as if it was the lock on the safe itself and listen for the clicking to know where to press A. Not a bad idea or implementation -- it was certainly never annoying. High praise for that little speaker.

To sum up this game, I can say it was a unique, enjoyable experience. The Motion Plus attachment was iffy at first, but over time I felt more and more comfortable with it. The point of view rotating with the swing stopped happening and really never happened in combat to begin with. The story was a nice mixture of classic plots, although the voice acting was a little off-putting, but there aren't many games that do that too well. I enjoyed the way to accept missions, along with collecting money, optional side quests, and upgrading your gun and sword. This game has a great deal of positives going for it and the addition of the, sadly under-used, Motion Plus does increase the overall quality. Especially in light of being one of the only games after a year to use it. I rate both Motion Plus and Red Steel 2 as Super Dope.

4.5/5 Near Perfect Score! Super Dope!

Scott Pilgrim vs. The Wii

For those few of you who do not know, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World: The Game recently came out for the PS3, and the Xbox 360 version is not far away with a release date set for the 25th. The design of the game is one reminiscent of 2D, old-school beat'em ups like River City Ransom for the NES or Secret of Mana for the SNES. Both of which are classic titles. I never played River City Ransom, but that won't stop me from using it as a tag for this post. Scott Pilgrim is clearly an accessible game - graphically, at least - for any console. So, why, dear readers, is the Wii the only one left out?

I understand this comes out on the heels of KeepinItFresh's "Open Letter," but I can honestly say that this is the first game in a while for which I've felt genuinely giddy. It's as if Scott Pilgrim: The Game is that sexy girl at work you always have flirtations with, but nothing ever comes of it. That's what it feels like for me. I'm excited for this game; I talk about it with my friends and explain how badly I want it; I've spent a lot of time with Scott Pilgrim (not the game, but the graphic novel), and I want my due payoff. The problem is, of course, that the only system I own is the Wii. Now, I'm sure the decision to keep it off the Wii has some business and marketing decisions behind it, to which the general public are not privy. Does this make it any less heart wrenching? God No. No it... it just doesn't. I want to play this game and I would happily dish out the $10 or $15 to own it, but not the several hundred it would take for me to get a PS3 or Xbox 360 first.

For the most part, the Wii's Virtual Console and Wii Ware games provide more variety and an overall better gaming experience than when compared to the alternatives. The PSN has Final Fantasy VII, Metal Gear Solid, and Echochrome; the XBLA has Shadow Complex and Castle Crashers. All of which I think are great additions to the system and may even go so far as to call them reasons to buy each respective console. The Wii may have begun with much bigger success than it now holds, even the newest addition - the Wii Arcade - was a disappointment; although, it did show interesting promise. Surely most of the gaming community believe now, more than ever, the recent downloadable games offered by the Wii are nowhere near the quality of other systems. The point is, despite me only buying (or wanting) a handful of titles, I still believe in the service. Even now, while I sit, staring at the lack of Scott and Ramona, I realize I can still go back to the Virtual Console, find River City Ransom, and settle.

IGN has dealt with the decline of the Virtual Console (here you go) and claimed "It must be like jumping through hoops to try to get any game not originally presented by a major Japanese publisher through the submission and approval process to go live in the American Wii Shop." Does this mean that Nintendo doesn't care about white people? Looks like it. I would love to see other titles (IGN makes special mention of Earthbound throughout the article) also put up, but this one takes the cake - most likely because it's in my recent memory, but also because I can't just find a place on the internet to download it illegally like... well like almost every classic game in existence. It seems to be true that "Nintendo of America hasn't been able to fully respond to our requests." But don't get me wrong, I don't mean for Super Dope Game Reviews to take up a war against Nintendo, and I certainly don't plan on doing anything so bold as to sign a petition to get Scott Pilgrim: The Game onto the Wii. I just really want to play this game.

While the previous entry by KeepinItFresh focuses on the faults and betrayals of Nintendo's system, I choose to view these imperfections as what makes the Wii even more beautiful. I know the worn out, scratched up, broken apart Wii has seen better days and hasn't aged as well as other systems (who seem to be just now reaching maturity *cough* PS3 *cough*) or even as well as I had hoped. But all this simply makes me appreciate what the Wii has that other consoles don't. A catalog of games that focus on a fun experience, for instance. Also, what the Wii lacks can be turned into a positive - like the absence of a platform for preteen boys to shout profanity at me through a headset. Maybe I'm more of an optimist, or more of a Nintendo Fanboy (proven by my choice to capitalize that title), than KeepinItFresh, but I'm sure that while I flirt with other games from other systems, I'll always return home to the Wii, who has been there for me through thick and thin, like a loving wife instead of that sexy girl at work.

Wii: It’s You or Me

Dearest Wii,

You know, I use that title loosely now to be honest. When you first came out in 2006, I was teeming with excitement. Adding motion-control to the already interactive medium of videogames seemed like a guarantee for more immersive and enthralling experiences. I believed that Nintendo had proven with their 20+ year track record that they possessed the creativity and developer’s pedigree to make it worthwhile. Coupled with their franchises that I treasure with my childhood heart, I figured my experience with you would be unmatched up until that point in time.

These were gaudy expectations assuredly. Yet with all that said, I didn't own you initially because I had less interest in the launch games than that of parents who abandon their newborn baby in a dumpster (Shockingly, I'm not a Zelda fan. I know that's heresy coming from a self-proclaimed Nintendo fanboy but everyone’s favorite iconic elf has never quite tickled my fancy.). Regardless, I was there with you from your humble beginning thanks to my then-girlfriend's Christmas gift to me in 2006 (Note: It didn't work out and she convinced me that adoption was a better way to “make the problem go away”).

My first game was that of Warioware: Smooth Moves. ‘Twas a novel little title – kinda cute. That's really all I could say about it. A little zany, a little whacky. Kinda like me. Or a drunken Friday night (although I have better memories of playing this game 4 years ago than any particular Friday night I've had in the past year). In all fairness, any game that was to accompany my new ownership of you would pale in comparison to the game that I truly wanted – and that was Super Smash Bros. Brawl. I knew that once Brawl came out that you would prove to be a worthwhile investment.

Indeed, this personal assessment proved to be correct. On the (mid)night that Brawl was finally released in March 2008, I played it for 24 hours straight and logged in a voluminous amount of matches witnessing Bowser violating other characters' dignity and rights as sexual beings (hint: do his down throw). As an added bonus: I basked in the male-bonding friendship that the game fostered betwixt me and my well-groomed college friends. I strongly believe that the rapport and camaraderie that was created amongst my colleagues and I during those long days into nights cannot ever be replicated by any amount of affection, emotional understanding, nor spontaneous gyrating dog piles on other men's beds. I shall spare the details for our dear voyeur reader and insist that the audience just take my word for it. All in all, none of that would have been possible without you, Wii. I deeply thank you for that and the deeper issue that it consequently helped me to resolve.

Aside from Brawl, I have had my little trysts with Super Mario Galaxy 1 & 2, Metroid Prime: Trilogy, and Mario Kart Wii. Also, being a huge baseball fan, I picked up Super Mario Sluggers, and both iterations of MLB Power Pros. Not much of a collection but the titles served their purpose for an acceptable duration of time. As you know, Wii, Brawl would continue to garner the majority of gameplay until I sadly, and unwillingly, graduated from college. I guess without others getting in on the action, I felt like the majority of our activities were... well... boring. It was tough to admit but I felt like we had gotten into a rut.

Now here I sit, staring at you collecting dust. That's actually not even true. I don't even take the time to look at you anymore. You're too ugly to me. I stare at you and I'm filled with regret with all the time that we've lost, bitterness over the memories we shared in better times, anger over the unrealized potential that we had, and disgust at the shell of a console that you were. You've seriously let yourself go, Wii, with your missing controller and memory card covers. Sure, you can blame it on me, but you deserved it. I asked to be treated with respect and you shower me with trash such as My Horse & Me and Catz along with upcoming classic releases such as The Bachelorette. I just wanted to be treated with a reverence; something that I felt from all my previous consoles. And it’s terribly difficult to feel that that desire is being adhered to when you're continually attempting to shove piles of recycled s*** down my throat.

But I know I should be more understanding. v_v

Surely, this is just some isolated personal experience – an outlier of an anecdote. Being forced out into the 'real world,’ I now find myself in a whirlwind of desires pulling at me that are not particularly conducive to videogaming, much less spending time with you. There are actually two main things. One of them is called real life. I do my best with trying to cope with having to live out this 'true' world. My primary method of bringing myself solace is in perceiving the parallels between life and videogames. I view each challenge that is presented to me in this annoying realm of reality as a metaphorical videogame task. For instance, I attempt to hone my skills in pursuit of “leveling up” to a better job/career, and physically train rigorously to perform new achievements, conquer new territory, and capture trophies [read: working out, women, and women].

But that's not all that's come between you and I, Wii. I mean, there is another girl in the picture now. That PS3 gal was able to offer me all those true iterations of games that, quite frankly, are always some watered-down, gimmicked cripple of a game on your hardware. I don't know who to blame. I mean, if that's the kinda people that you attract that will buy that sorta thing, then that's cool. It's totally understandable. I know you're just trying to make a living, setting up a good situation for your next kid. You've found your niche and you do it well. I can't hate on that. But the fact of the matter is you couldn't ever run a Madden NFL, Call of Duty, or Dead Space in its true form. Quite simply, you just don't got the goods on the inside. And that's kind of a personal thing.

I guess we just have our fundamental differences, Wii. You’re not everything that I quite envisioned you to be but I know that I should do my best to appreciate the finer things about you. I know that I should be putting in more time with you and be better able to express that warm affection that I still do have for you. But you gotta fulfill your end of the bargain as well. Treat me as an esteemed gamer and not a vapid schoolgirl, or lifeless housewife.

Then again, I guess what does it matter when you’ll just end up in the attic in 2 years?

Just like everyone else I’ve ever loved.

Super Dope Battle: Retail vs. Online

I come to this point, fellow videogame lovers, like many people: after the final straw. Recently I bought Red Steel 2 used from Amazon. It was about $20, so I couldn't pass that up. It's on my "really should play" list. I was mostly looking forward to this game because I have yet to try out the motion plus attachment (I know, I know, but Wii Sports Resort just wasn't worth it for me). Much to my disappointment and infuriation, when I put the game in the disc was "unreadable." So after trying everything I could think of for the next 15 minutes, I surrendered to the faulty game. It had won. I was broken. Forced to retreat to Amazon and appeal for a refund, I found myself trying to remember the last time I had such resentment for a mere merchant.

In my younger years, I would frequent the local Gamestops and Best Buys in order to browse through their larger-than-mine collection of games. At the time I thought this was the only way to buy games. Never would I dare order it online; that would run the risk of being damaged in transit. And how could I ever return it if I got the wrong (or a faulty) item? Now I know that it's very easy to return an item online. Just like when dealing with actual stores, you must keep everything. Luckily, the online version doesn't come with a too-easy-to-throw-away receipt; it does, however, come with a box in which it should also be returned and a processing request which must be printed and shoved into that same, original box. But as we all well know, the worst thing about shopping online is not the hassle of a possible return.

The length of time spent waiting for your shipment is sometimes unbearable. For Red Steel 2, I was bursting with anticipation, which meant the 5-7 business days lasted about 5-7 months. To add to this, I'm just naturally a very impatient person. I'm bothered every morning by how long it takes me to get to work - it's a ten minute walk. But in all fairness, no one in our instant-gratification society of today enjoys waiting a week to use the item just purchased. "I paid for it now, so I should use it now." Not an uncommon opinion.

On the lighter side of online shopping, you can almost always guarantee a cheaper price. I've been to a few Gamestops since I returned Red Steel 2 and the used version is always at least five dollars more than from Amazon. Of course, few need to be lectured on the evils of the greedy Gamestop company. I know I've been rather proud of myself before for deciding not to use that store ever again. Within the last weeks, I've spent an increasing amount of time just browsing their used games. "Maybe I can get a good deal on something that got good reviews. Maybe some obscure, sleeper hit." Good luck with that.

It seems as if it's an even trade off. Pay more for instant gratification. But with pre-orders, you can play the new game the day it comes out and without anyone asking if you'd like to join any newsletters or hear about any kind of "reward card." Does this make stores obsolete? Why would anyone choose to get their videogame from some busy, line-filled mall when you can just sit in your room and have it, literally, hand-delivered? I used to think I had no more use for these shops, now stocked with nostalgia more so than anything I'd want to buy. And yet I come back to them now, as if I never felt ripped off by buying an expensive used game. This is because I'm tired of waiting. I feel now that if I could find a copy of Red Steel 2 that was less than $10 more, it would be spinning in my Wii by the end of the hour.

I realize everything I've said really just applies to the used games. When it comes to new games, I've mentioned the "same day it comes out" pre-order plan. Then with the systems themselves, I can't imagine preferring to buy them online. For those I still have my old paranoia of something, somehow, getting damaged. I want to delicately carry my system, like a newborn, coming home for the very first time. Portable consoles are the same way. I would never rely on the U.S. Mail to hold a 3DS with as much care as someone who wanted one. I can bet the thought, "Well, it's heavy so it's also probably tough" crosses their mind.

Here I am at this impasse. Should I return to the retail gaming world and spend some extra cash? Or can I be patient enough (and cheap enough) to get my games online? Red Steel 2 was the first defective game I've gotten through the internet, out of countless other items that worked perfectly. I've also received a defective game from a mall distributor - for which I lost money since I had thrown away the receipt and they could only return 60% of what I paid the day before. So clearly neither are perfect, but I'm wondering about the opinions of others. Do others have videogame online-shopping horror stories? Does anyone always prefer to walk in and hand their cash over to such an avaricious company? Will one eventually take all the business away from the other? I'll leave you with these questions to ponder while I personally try to get Gamestop to lower their prices by reading customer reviews off of Amazon.

Any Other Hero Would Also be OK

I said once,"I don't buy games that I think I won't enjoy." Now, you may ask of me immediately after seeing this box art, "So why did you buy this one and not the (much better) sequel?" Well, my dear fellows, I bought this one because it was only $12. Amazon "Deal of the Day" has been a bookmark on my browser for quite some time, you see. Still, this game has been sitting on my living room floor for many, many months, and I even beat Super Mario Galaxy 2 and Mass Effect 2 - apparently I have a thing for sequels - before I started this game. I was only mildly interested and this game has been on my back log of "games to play" ever since it came out, so I thought to myself, "Why not now?" The main reason for why not now of course would be that a recommendation declaring "you shouldn't waste your money on this not-even-worth-$12-game" seems unnecessary. But how could I have known that before I started to play?

However, I bitterly feel I must tell people to not buy this game on account of all the lists that mention this as one of the must-have Wii games. I just don't understand why. Sure, I can see this game as a fun beat'em up with classic throwbacks - which are pretty entertaining for a little while - but I refuse to accept this on any must-have list. It may say something about the system that No More Heroes makes it onto such lists, but I believe that would be judging the Wii unfairly. After all, there are several great games for the Wii which I actually would classify as must-have. No More Heroes must have cheated its way onto those lists somehow.

In the opening scenes, Travis Touchdown has just taken down the number 11 ranked assassin, which causes a sexy lady with a sexy French accent to come out and fill you in on the rest of the game's story. Here's how it goes: Travis wants to be number 1 (but maybe only for the sex) and so you have to work your way up through the list. You start the actual gameplay tossed into the middle of a fight, with an optional tutorial, against faceless thugs in the mansion of assassin number 10. If you already know how to fight, which isn't hard to figure out (A -sword, B - punch, Z - lock-on), then you can instantly progress into fighting more faceless thugs through identical corridors. I don't expect every enemy to look like a different person, but I do expect to be able to turn around and know whether or not I've been down that way. For the first time in my life, I got dizzy and disoriented playing a videogame. I played both Super Mario Galax[ies] and never felt like I should take a couple Advil. The camera itself is just terrible, but the lock-on option definitely helps. The soundtrack is appropriate to all the slaughter as well as for Travis himself. Everything about Travis Touchdown makes a strange kind of sense, which adds to the overall enjoyment, but fails to really do anything special.

The gameplay sadly has a more common feel to it. Run through a bunch of bad guys, slicing them all to bits, and then find a boss, who then gets sliced to bits. The main draw of this game I suppose, other than its unique brand of humor, is the bloody way of dispatching an enemy. For a killing blow, directional instructions will pop up and, if these are done correctly, someone gets their head chopped off or cut in half down the middle. I assume Suda51 believes toilet humor and gallons of gore make a good game, despite unresponsive controls and a pitiful job system. To be more specific, every time there was a "down" instruction for the wiimote, I missed it. All other directions worked well (most of the time), but for some reason, the down almost always failed. What's more, is that after each boss, you need to earn enough money to enter the next fight. This is done by driving a motorcycle through Santa Destroy to various jobs. Whether its collecting coconuts or killing as many of those faceless thugs as possible, the jobs are boring and uninspired. The worst parts of this game all involve driving around to collect more money. It's just a time waster to make the game longer without any actual fun provided.

Overall, I may be being too harsh, but I was looking forward to this game because of all the lists telling me to buy it and No More Heroes was a disappointment. The gameplay was regular and unimpressive while the story itself was bland. Get to number 1. The end. Suda51 did what it could to make this game enjoyable and the boss fights were where the originality and creativity really stand out, but those are such a small part of this game that I can't overlook all the traveling around Santa Destroy - about half an hour each time - and the boring battles from the start of the mission to the boss fight - about another thirty minutes. There was nothing that was excessively bad other than the camera and there was nothing exceptionally good other than the boss fights. That means this game falls in the middle area of scoring, but when taking into account all the must-have talk, it drops down another half point.

2.5/5 Slightly Worse Than Average! Almost Mediocre!

Mario's Galaxy is Still Pretty Super

I've been playing Super Mario Galaxy 2 for a few weeks now, and I've tried to hold off on reviewing it until I actually completed the game. I don't think it would have been fair to judge a game before I know how it ends. That being said, I guess I knew that *Spoiler Alert* Mario would save Princess Peach from Bowser and it would all be very happy. What I mean when I say "before it ends," is that, even though I played this game for many, many hours, I would not feel as if I was doing the game justice if I only earned 50, 70, or even 110 stars. I could have loved every star but hated getting the final stars after you beat Bowser for the last time - unlike the previous Galaxy, this one actually has something worth doing after the final Bowser fight. So now that I've completed the game, I feel it's appropriate to write my long-awaited review.

Sequels are difficult to look at and review fairly. One always wants to judge a game based on it's own merits, but cannot help but to compare it to the first iteration. After all, a sequel is supposed to be a bigger, better version of the original. What makes Galaxy 2 specifically difficult is that it's not really a sequel, but can still qualify as one, despite the fact that this game is a bunch of ideas that weren't put in the first one. Miyamoto himself I believe referred to Galaxy 2 as "Galaxy 1.5." That being said, I can't just overlook the original in order to review the "sequel". Super Mario Galaxy was a fantastic game; the first real successor to Super Mario 64 (which came out in 1996). The flaws of the first Galaxy were few and far between and every level was a crazy new implementation of a wacky idea. Why would a Queen Bee exist if all she does is ask you to scratch her back? Why would the fire and ice worlds be in one galaxy? Why did Luigi even try to get stars at all? All of these combined just makes for a truly fun and enjoyable experience that, I'm sad to say, the second Galaxy does not match.

What's new in Super Mario Galaxy 2? Yoshi, who was always fun to ride, is the obvious one, which includes the 3 power-ups Yoshi can eat, and the various things his tongue can do. Then we get Cloud Mario, Rock Mario, and Drill Mario, each with worlds designed to fit these new suits. Are these suits used often enough to make a unique experience that separates it from the first game? Not to me. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed climbing onto clouds and bowling over enemies; though I must be honest, I didn't really enjoy the drill, it just made me impatient. Are the previous suits used often enough to make them worth keeping around? Not really. Bee Mario seemed to get much more screen time than the Fire, spring, or Ghost outfits (I think each was used only once or twice?) and the Ice flower isn't even in the game. Which is a shame since that was one of my favorites from the first Galaxy. Hell, even Yoshi's power-ups aren't used as much as I would like. The light bulb is only present in two levels and the other two are used a few more times, and I would have liked to see more Yoshi in general, which I don't think is unreasonable since he now shares the cover of the game with Mario. The best "new" implementation was the way the comets were done. I thought making the purple coins show up less was a great idea and I loved the new short-time speed runs, where you have to keep getting clocks to add ten seconds to the time limit. I also really enjoyed the new way to move between galaxies and universes since it made the game feel much more streamlined, but also much more like a classic Mario game (all of which I love, but I have been getting a little bored with the same old routine). I appreciated the slightly improved two-player mode, which still falls flat but is an improvement nonetheless.

In comparative difficulty, Galaxy 2 is harder, which is a good thing, since there were only a couple levels in the first that killed me so many times that I lost count. For this one, there were easily ten or so levels that I had to do over and over again. Let me just say, Thank God the ray surfing didn't make it back, but damn you Mario creators for adding Fluzzard; there is nothing worse than having to depend on the wiimote tilting in order to navigate through small tunnels or under thwomps, especially when it's a race. Bosses, I found, were also much more difficult. That snake/worm guy who tunnels through the planet was pretty hard at first and the Bowser fights were all harder than any of the Bowser battles in the first Galaxy. And even though, like the first one, every brawl with Bowser was the same, I was happy with them on the whole. What I have the most disdain for in this game, however, is Baby Bowser, who comes off as an annoying kid rather than a formidable foe. Although, his boss fights were much more creative than anything with Bowser, so I guess it's give/take.

I can't think of any other faults. Galaxy 2 was orchestrated beautifully, both of them were, the controls are exactly like the first (smooth and easy), and the game itself looks bright, colorful, and really just amazing for any console. If I were to have played this game before the first Galaxy, then I probably would have enjoyed this version much more, on account of Yoshi, the new way of doing the purple coins, and post-final-Bowser reward. But that's not how it is and I can't ignore that what's in this game is largely more of the same - not just of Galaxy but perhaps of all Mario games. Galaxy 2 of course still stands out among Wii games and deserves to be played by any Mario/Nintendo fan, but if you've already completed the first one, then just rent it for a couple weeks and go at it because it won't seem like a different game, but rather more like an expansion of the first. That means the game is a lot of fun, excels with what it was trying to do, and holds up among the best Wii titles, but doesn't make as much of an impact as the original, which I would have given a 4.5/5, but only because of low difficulty and the purple coins.

4/5 Near Perfect Score! Super Good!

Little King, Long Game

Oh, Little King, I was so excited for you. Months before you came out, I was ready to hand over my cash in exchange for your kingdom. Then on the long-awaited day of your commencement, I truly understood what it was to be lord and master of a realm, and it was tedious. That may be unfair. I mean, it was tedious, but of course it was going to be. As a king, you oversee everything in the kingdom. As it turns out, that's a long list.

Little King's Story is a real time strategy game, in which you play a young boy named Corobo who found a magic crown that gives him control of the kingdom, Alpoko. At first, everyone is a "lazy citizen" but, with Corobo's excellent leadership skills, soon most of the townspeople have jobs. To start, you'll make people farmers or diggers and you'll explore a small area, finding a variety of items which are automatically exchanged for money. You can then use the money to build new buildings, expand your kingdom, and, soon, upgrade your ever-growing population to become soldiers, archers, chefs, lumberjacks, and the list goes on. After you defeat the King of the close-neighboring Oni monsters, you can expand your realm to a much larger area. Then the game marvelously opens up to a gigantic world, in which you'll encounter many more monsters and lands, all for the purpose of conquering them and completely ruling the world. An idea which is always encouraged by your Lieutenant, Howser.

This all sounds well and good, but there are too many things that can be improved. For instance, each upgrade or new building requires a tremendous amount of money, which can only be earned by continuously going over explored land and gathering every little thing you can. Sure, each king gives you a large bonus after they're defeated, but it's nowhere near as much as you'll need if you want to fill your city. This means, of course, that you don't have to fill your kingdom with everything possible, but can pick and choose the things which are necessary for your current undertaking. Like spending money to make chefs, if you're up against giant chickens, or holding back on upgrading how many people can follow you into the world, if you easily overcome each monster. So, depending on your personal tastes, this can also be seen as a positive because it makes the game more strategy based. You'll need to choose what kind of upgrade to get for the best outcome.

Other than that small gripe, there are two major problems with this game. First is the way the game controls. If you're not already selecting the kind of citizen you want, you'll need to cycle through every different type of person with you until you find the one that fits. This isn't a problem when you want to dig a hold for a spring or chop a piece of wood, but if you're getting attacked then you're going to need to send out those soldiers and archers. To do that, you just may need to go through the farmers, builders, miners, chefs, and lumberjacks before you find them, and then all over again if you'll cycling too rapidly. And even then, there is no Wii pointer to make this an easy task. You have to send your followers out along a short, blue, dotted line, which is supposed to be an accurate way of accomplishing goals, but is almost entirely unhelpful when trying to decide where your people go.

It would be nice if it was possible to assign certain groups to the D-pad and then use the Wii remote to send them at something specific, much like the play style of Overlord: Dark Legend, which has the same minion-based gameplay, but does it in a much more streamlined way. It got to the point that I would just bring out one type, the archers or soldiers, when I went up against a boss, which is fine, but most of the game is exploring the land, for which you'll need a multitude of followers. And even later, when doing anything, I would just send out everyone who was with me to get the job done since most people can do any job at least a little. The ones that can't do the assigned task would run back to Corobo's side, so all my warriors would come back when told to build a bridge and all my farmers would return when ordered to fight. But the point remains, failing to utilize the Wii and it's motion controls was a big mistake.

The second mistake this game makes is assuming people always want to go out collecting every little thing. I cannot tell you how many pieces of wood I've chopped or holes I've dug. It's just ridiculously boring. There were times when starting up this game that I would dread it because I knew had to spend a couple hours just gathering little things before I could buy that new land or building. No game should ever make you dread playing it - unless it's out of fear for some incredible boss which is just too epic to even conceive of defeating. It honestly felt more to me like a chore to play this game than it did a fun experience. It's like a poor man's childish Monster Hunter Tri. But then, with Monster Hunter, at least you know that you're in for a long and arduous journey.

3/5 Average Score! Not Too Bad! Not Too Good!