Rated E for Embarrassment

One of these is not like the other (Fallout cuz it's multiplatform right???)

Pretend you’ve walked into a proverbial video game store, passing through a proverbial recommendations end-cap. Three non-proverbial games are displayed: Halo: Reach, Fallout: New Vegas, and Kirby's Epic Yarn. All three games have their merits and have received generally great critical praise. Let’s also assume you’re 24 years old. Which of these games are you most likely to buy? I know I sound like a marketing questionnaire, but let’s face it – picking up Kirby's Epic Yarn and taking it to the cashier for purchase is objectively more embarrassing than the other two games.

Gaming, in itself, is embarrassing enough, as Gregory Allen has pointed out. However, there are games people own that are embarrassing to even the most disheveled, basement-dwelling hardcore gamer. For example, there's Dead or Alive Extreme Beach Volleyball, a game where they took the large-chested women of the fighting game series Dead or Alive and put them on an island playing volleyball together. This was actually an amazingly effective strategy by Tecmo, since Dead or Alive is a terrible fighting game series and, coincidentally, only hormonal teenagers and creepy middle-aged men bought their games. Another game similarly embarrassing to own is the Hannah Montana: The Movie video game, particularly for the PS3 and 360, which nerds on the internet actually bought to get achievements and trophies because they were easy to get. No amount of head-shaking can ameliorate such a tragic reason for gaming, and nothing will erase the fact that Billy Ray Cyrus' spawn adorns your gaming library.

"Dude I'm totally playing it for the achievements. Haha, no dude, I'm serious... hey where are you going??"

Instrument and music games have some levels of shame to them, with the tired argument of “why don't you play a REAL instrument?” It's kind of a dumb accusation, because games like Rock Band are there as a simple emulation of the band experience, and not everyone at a party is expected to be Keith Moon on the drums or Jimi Hendrix on guitar. The argument is relevant only to those who try to 100% every song in these games on the highest difficulty, because in essence, they only really teach pinpoint reaction time and some elements of rhythm at the basic level with the instruments provided. Of course, Harmonix, the developers of Rock Band, want to solve it by evolving the medium to actually learning instruments with their "Pro" mode, introducing compatibility with fully functioning “real” instruments like a MIDI keyboard, digital drum sets, and a fully functional, six string Fender Squire guitar. You can now tell people that you learned how to play guitar via a video game and this time you'll only be met with mild guffaws instead of hysterical laughter.

Now you can play sick guitar solos like on Free Bird as good as THIS guy on real guitar (skip to 5:56).

There are games, however, that are actually really good, but are seen as embarrassing to the average 18-24 gamer. Society curbs our interest in these games by creating a culture of owning games that are “badass,” like the GTA series, God of War series, Halo, Daikatana, and so on. We're accustomed to our rated M games or sports games while games like Rachet and Clank, Pokemon, and even the Mario games, which are received as generally great series, are unfortunately being shelved to the side because they just don't meet that badass requirement the public craves for in their video games.

Sure, back then it wasn't too much of an issue to play video games with a more lighthearted nature, but gaming's audience has warped into obsession over the FPS and action genres. And when your girlfriend or your roommate walks in to you poppin' off a terrorist's head in Call of Duty, it's totally the antithesis of humility, bro.