Obscure Title Tuesday Presents: Sesame Street ABC & 123! Or, as I like to call it, The one that taught me how to count and shit!
Ahhh, Sesame Street. Whether it be fond memories of a childhood learned to read and count from you, or Liberals using scare tactics like "Republicans want to cut funding to Public Broadcasting Station (PBS) so they can kill Big Bird", those Jim Henson creations have a special place in my heart.
That being said, this game is shit. Just Kidding! More like the shit! Though the game will have absolutely zero replay value now to anyone old enough to read this article, rating it in regards to the age range this game was targeted for (the very young that are just learning the different letters, numbers, colors, and shapes), this game is great!
All you favorite Sesame street characters are here (except Snuffleupagus) hosting 4 mini games, each with varying degrees of difficulty that you can set easily from each mini games start screen:
Wait...both 'B' and 'P' work here. What the hell????
Big Birds Letter Go Round: A giant Ferris wheel moves around and around, with each cart being a different letter. You push A to stop the Ferris wheel to select one of the letters. The easiest mode has you matching upper case and lower case letters, while the more difficult levels prompts you to fill in the missing letter for a word, or even to spell out your own word……And don’t you spell out a cuss word you dirty piece of crap, childhood innocence is on the line!
Oh, and if you spell enough words right, Big Bird comes and dances across the screen! And that yellow mutha-sucker is off the hook! He’s all dancing and jumpin’ up and down to this cool music; I learned how to dance from this game.
Ummmmm......yes?
Astro Grover: This is the numbers one. Little aliens come across the screen, and you either count how many there are (1-9) or do simple addition and subtraction (the answers never go above the number 9). Now, I love Math, but for one section of the game, there’s this Moon, and NOT ONLY does the moon, in the normal state of the game, look sad and unconfident in your number identifying ability, but if you get the answer wrong, the moon shakes his disappointed head ‘no’ and this really scary music plays. It’s only for a second, but it scared the crap outta me when I was that young. It was my second biggest surprise Video Game scare ever. The first being the evil music and flashing lights from when you beat world 7 in Super Mario Brothers 3; then you get the letter from the Princess, at least you THINK it’s from the Princess because all 6 other letters were nice, quiet, no background music, peaceful power-up-giving letters from the princess, and you go to look at the similar looking letter then BAM!!!!! The letter is really from Bowser! and scary music plays, and I shit my pants and ran into my Mommy’s room. And she said: ‘I guess we won’t buy you any more Video Games that scare you. And you know what? I manned up, went back and beat that f*cking World 8. Cause that’s how Super Dope Gaming writers be when they’re kids.
I'm Sorry!
Ernie’s Magic Shapes: Match the shapes! And the colors! For example: match a square with a square, but don’t choose the triangle because a triangle is not a square, dumbass. Or, Ernie shows you a red square, and you can select from a blue square, a red square, a green square, etc. Though, for some reason, for the red square, you can not select a triangle again. But why would you, dumbass? The highest difficulty section has a complicated picture like a bird made up of many different shapes, and you have to match several different, similar-but-not-exact shapes to the picture.
Ernie......you're kinda bein' lazy here.
Ernie’s Big Splash: This is a spatial game kind of like snake. No! It’s more like pipes, where you start out in a square as a rubber duckie, and you can go straight, up, left, or right based on different pieces that you can select from, and you keep going until you make a path from your box to Ernie. The harder difficulties have various Sesame Street characters you have to navigate through before you get to Ernie. When you make it to Ernie, you see the rubber duckie go through all the boxes with these little animations and sound effects; when Ernie gets his duckie, he rejoices happily, splashing carefree in his tub in what I presume is all his nude Muppet glory.
The music for this game is good, the dancing Big Birds will blow your mind, and I definitely remember learning several new words from this game. Dope!
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