For those of you who are unaware, there are a few television shows that air every week by a company called ‘World Wrestling Entertainment.’ In these shows, grown men with varying colorful names and personalities beat the ever loving crap out of each other! And in my youth, I was such a fan… such a huge fan, you guys.
First of all, the Rock was my homeboy. Second of all, everything that happened was totally bad-ass: people would get hit in the face with steel chairs and thrown in the air and then land on a table, and then the table would break, people would insult each other and THEN hit each other in the face with chairs... it was a way for me to let out all my pent up 7th grade aggression by yelling at the television. Third, don’t even get me started about wrestling today. Why, back in my day, we didn’t have any of this PG nonsense, we walked uphill both ways in the snow. Damnit.
Global Ranks on the left. Wrestling is very popular in Japan and also Mexico. And now you just learned something.
So while I cheered on my favorite "good guy" wrestlers and booed vehemently against my least favorite "bad guy" wrestlers, I found out about an online turn based Card game that I could play for free! I was all over that like something on a fitting analogy.
This is a card game much like Pokemon or Magic the Gathering, with a few key differences. You first select a wrestler, who all have different health (hit points) and a special ability. You create a deck of cards, including which 5 cards you start every match with. Most cards are simply wrestling moves that do damage to your opponents health, like ‘body slam’, clothesline’, or ‘throw over the top ropes’ Only, each move requires a certain amount of momentum, which is a type of card you can play during the game besides a wrestling move. Momentum comes in a few different types, like Strength, Strike, Technical, Agility, and Knowledge. Wrestlers that are fat and known for being strong have limits placed on how much ‘agility’ momentum they can have, etc. Then there are special cards that do different things like increase damage done with moves, make you draw more cards, make your opponent have to ditch a card, whatever. In the game, after each turn you draw a card, and the object is to play wrestling moves to beat up your opponent enough that you can pin him and win the match.
I like Rob Van Dam more then I like The Big Show because RVD is not looking at me angrily, a disapproving menacing frown emanating from his core.
There is also the ability to counter moves. Every move, besides requiring certain kinds of momentum like strength or knowledge, also has a type, like ‘in close’, ‘arm extended’, or ‘behind’. Some moves counter other move types, so if you play ‘body slam’, which is an 'in close' move, and your opponent has enough momentum, he can counter your body slam, without getting hurt, by a move like ‘punch’ or ‘push’ or ‘vertical suplex’… moves that counter in close moves. Now the other guy has to respond to the move used to counter, and on and on. Also, each wrestler has 2-4 special moves, like finishers or trademarks, that only he can perform.
There is no single player option for this game. Besides a helpful tutorial, once you create a deck, you go into a chat room, find an opponent, and try to beat the ever-loving bajeesus out of each other. Though this game was marketed as ‘free’ you start out with about 60 cards and each playbook needs a minimum of 50, but if you wanted any one of the thousands of other, better, more helpful cards out there, you could pay a paltry fee of 3 dollars and get 10 or so of those better cards. And that was how they made money. I believe, all in all, I blew about 40 dollars on this game. By the way - worth it. I can’t tell you how many hours I spent man-handling other people with my Rikishi playbook. Also, there were chat rooms to talk about wrestling, or trade cards.
The Rocks real first name is Dwayne. Him and Dwayne Wade make bein' named Dwayne cool.
The game itself did a very excellent job of simulating the entire wrestling experience. The game play area looks like a wrestling ring, complete with fans and flashbulbs in the background. To win, you have to ‘pin’ your opponent when their health gets low, but they could kick out and the game would continue. Some moves, like ‘low blow’ and ‘steel chair to the face’ are illegal, and if you connect with them, the referee would give you ‘warnings.’ Receive too many of these and you would likely, tho not always, get disqualified. Furthermore, throughout how ever many years I played this game, they were always coming out with new cards and wrestlers, as new Wrestlers became popular in the WWE, and new wrestling moves were being performed on the show. This was a nice touch to keep it fresh. They also had weekly tournaments where the winner would face the current ‘champion’ and if he won, he would become the World Heavyweight Championship title holder for that week, until he would have to defend it the next week. It was totally sweet; though, I was never good enough to win a title. I was too cheap to buy the really good cards I would have needed to win. And by that I mean my parents were not willing to blow any more money on this game for me.
I loved this game for a few reasons. The competition was an important aspect, because you’re not playing against a stupid computer AI, you’re going full out against another thinking person who probably spent just as much time perfecting his playbooks as you did, and winning felt really satisfying, every time. Also, everyone could see your rank and how many places, among the thousands who played, you were from being number one. But also, there was a huge amount of strategy in this game. For example, before I even played a game, I would count the number of move type cards I had in my playbook and compare that to the total number of cards I had in my playbook in order to calculate what percentage of my cards would counter certain moves my opponent might play, and also what percentage chance I had to draw a momentum card each turn. I would try to balance it so that I had a higher percentage chance to draw moves that countered the most popular and widely used move types. Various in game strategies include letting your opponent hit you with all his weak moves to save your counters for hurtful moves, or just loading your playbook with only one type of uncommon move type, like leg extended.
'Chair Shot' has yet to be recognized as an official wrestling move by the National Collegiate Wrestling Organization
Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. Tragically, this game died. Apparently it cost the WWE more money to pay the staff running this game then it did money they made off of online card sales, so they closed down the site hosting this great game. Thus, my totally awesomely ranked Rikishi became a worthless memory, and my 40 dollars worth of online cards were quickly revealed to also be a worthless memory.
However, good things come to those who wait. Don’t get me wrong, the game is still dead, but about four years later I was looking on-line, and for nostalgia, I looked up ‘With Authority.’ Though the game was long gone, a super fan had made it so that he was hosting the game himself, and you could play it online again! Still, there are only about ten people who play nowadays. BUT… I, of course, out of curiosity, went to play a few rounds, and imagine my euphoric surprise when, in order to get the game to work, the guy hosting had to make it so that every new player has access to multiple copies of every single card that had ever been made in the game. So there I was, only five years ago dreaming of obtaining one specific card to improve my one playbook, and now, I had access to every single card they ever made, ever. I made like, 20 playbooks before I even played anyone, instantly remembering my winning formula for playbook by Math and odds calculation. And you know what? That very same day, those ten leftover people, from a time when this game thrived with the pulse of light, hosted a tournament for the WWE With Authority Heavyweight Championship Title. And you know what? I F**king WON that thing, BABY!!! Whooooo!!!! In your FACE, Bitches!!! Don’t you ever tell me I’m not a gamer, I got your strategy right here… in my PANTS!
If you’re just too curious, you can download the game here: http://www.wap2p.com/ Feel free to ask if you’re having trouble figuring stuff out, anyone would happily help you, assuming anyone of the ten people are in the chatroom.
3.75/5 Dope! Strategy Will Make You a Winner, Jabroni! Know Your Role and Play This Game! Smell What This Game is Cookin’! Gaming 3:16!!!
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